


The Education of Luka Couffaine

by SteelBlaidd



Series: Scenes from a Miraculous Life [4]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Flustered Kagami Tsurugi, Gen, Luka is Zen/Not Zen, Luka is a smooth operator, Multi, Philosophy, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Episode: s03 Miracle Queen (The Battle of the Miraculous Part 2), Pre-Poly, Watch your subtext
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24592729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteelBlaidd/pseuds/SteelBlaidd
Summary: Prequal toAnd Now for Something Completely Different“Ladybug said that you would have a special food to help you recharge?”“A specific comestible is not required but I do prefer eggs. They can be fresh or hard boiled with or without shell.”“Well that's easy, I was afraid it might be rats or mice or something.”“A not unreasonable supposition but, no. Did you have any other questions?”“Lots. And I don't think the answer is 42.”After Ladybug gave him back the Serpent Miraculous, this time permanently,  Luka thought he might take advantage of having a more experienced person in the house to get a few questions answered.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Luka Couffaine/Kagami Tsurugi
Series: Scenes from a Miraculous Life [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728766
Comments: 70
Kudos: 82
Collections: July 2020 - Rare Pair/Character





	1. Is this Love, That I'm Feeling?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger/gifts).



> Warning: This fic contains discussion of life, the universe and everything😉
> 
> The marvelous author [sagansjagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sagansjagger) at the [Miraculous Fanworks Discord](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) has a [brilliant series of Fics](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744090) where the Kwami give each of their respective holders some version of the talk. One of the ideas floated was Sass and Luka discussing bondage. That conversation inspired two fics. This and Hold Me Tight. They both happen in the same timeline.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To learn anything you must ask the right questions.

Luka Couffaine had never in his life missed his unknown father quite so much as he did now. 

He sat on the bed in his cabin trying to find his center, in hopes that it would help in the conversation he was about to have.

He opened his eyes as he finished the three deep cleansing breaths at the end of his meditation session and sat staring at the little black box at the other end of his bed for several minutes. He picked up the guitar that had always seemed a better voice than the one nature had gifted him and sat, without playing, for several more minutes before opening the box and placing the serpent bracelet around his wrist.

It had been a month since Ladybug had come to him late one night, almost a quarter after one, begging him to take the Serpent Miraculous and keep it. The memory washed over him as he waited for Sass to appear.

* * *

“I thought I couldn't have it because Hawk Moth knows who I am?” he'd asked, a dollop of suspicion flavoring his general puzzlement.

Ladybug sood trembling before him, hand with the miraculous box extended the other clutched to her chest.

“I need you. I mean... I need you to keep this, a..and use it. Hawk Moth is becoming more aggressive, more dangerous. And I’m… I’m afraid. Bunnix can only see what is passed. You can see at least just a little into the future. I need that. And I can’t think of anyone else I can trust with this power.”

Luka took the box, set it on his desk and gathered the shaking young woman into his arms. “What are you afraid of?” 

Tears over flowed her eyes as she told him of the present given to the boy she loved that somehow led to Chat knowing her identity, and becoming akumatized, and destroying _Paris_ and _the Moon,_ and how she let go of the boy she loved, but it still _hurt,_ and she couldn't loose Chat too and he was getting so reckless and she was so scared, and that he, Luka, was such a good friend to let her cry like this, and on and on into silent weeping that lasted for several more minutes, until she finally wound down, curled into a ball in his lap, as he sat cross legged on the bed holding her tight. 

They sat there for a few, long, silent minutes and then Ladybug explained her plan into his chest. That she would call Luka if she felt they needed Second Chance. He would don and activate it from wherever he was, stay on the line, and if he heard her call ”reset” then he should turn back time and tell them anything he thought they should know. But most important, he should never be seen as Viperion and should only wear the miraculous when he needed it. To protect it from being noticed.

Luka felt that this was not the best thought out of plans, but given the emotional state Ladybug appeared to be in, he wasn't going to argue the point, and the couple of times she had called on him since had worked- mostly. Barely. 

* * *

Lukas’s attention returned to the present and the four legged cobra floating in serene full lotus in front of him. 

“Greetingsss”, intoned the kwami, “are we set to assist Mlle. Ladybug from a distance again tonight.” The small god seemed to have accepted with perfect equanimity what Luka was finding a completely odd and increasingly uncomfortable arrangement. He didn’t like just sitting and waiting as the voice over his phone became increasingly panicked, worrying that at some point neither the all clear nor the reset command would come and he would be too late to fix it.

“Hello Sass. No, tonight I was hoping for some advice.” They hadn’t talked since that first night after he received the miraculous for good. Even then not really touching on the logistics of their relationship, and Luka had kept his word to only summon the kwami when called upon.

Anarka had had a number of ‘boyfriends’ over the years, none had lasted long, few were memorable. He barely remembered Juleka’s father, an incredibly tall saxophonist. He had better memories of Philippe, who had taught him how to meditate in order to control his temper when he was getting into fights in kindergarten. But he had left because ‘attachment, that only led to suffering’, Luka frowned at the memory. The last one he had chased off, when he was 12, with a garrote made from a broken guitar string when the slime had expressed an unsavory interest in his sister. Luka didn't think it had ever gone beyond looking, but Juleka suddenly became very shy right around that time.

None of those men had been people he would have trusted to have this talk with anyway, and all of the other people he knew well enough to talk about this with were through Kitty Section, and he wasn’t sure how much of this would flow back to even accidentally to Marinettte… and Adrien. He had never had much luck making friends, even at the conservatoire where he studied music. Watching out for his mom and sister seemed to take most of his time and energy, what was left was spent playing. Sometimes he felt like a phantom in his own life.

But, he was letting his monkey mind distract him.

“Is it true that you are knowledgeable about,” the young man hesitated. “Relations between men and women?”

“If you are referring to the incident with the lovely young couple in that Garden.” Luka's hopes rose. “Given the surfeit of time and handy comestibles and dearth of vestments with which they were blessed, they certainly didn't need _my_ help with _that_ . I was responsible for instructing them in certain _other_ facts of life.” Sass paused, and those hopes fell again.

“But I am, I believe, tolerably well informed on the topic.” Luka would swear the tiny anthropomorphic serpent‘s eyes twinkled. “What did you want to know?"

Luka felt his cheeks warm, his fingers stilling on the strings.

"Or did you mean that in a less physical, more romantic sense?" Sass continued, an undertone of humor strong in his voice. 

Luka ducked his head, and resumed playing.

“So, you know I like Marinette.” Luka began picking out her song, which glowed in his mind like fire, the sparkling fireworks of her creativity, the warm glow of home and hearth and the bread ovens, the raging passion burning for her friends and art and against injustice. Over the last couple of months they had hung out together, just the two of them, a number of times, but Marinette seemed more interested in learning how to meditate than play guitar, like he'd tried to teach her that time before Desperada’s attack.

“Well. I think she kind of likes me, but she is still trying to let go of Adrian,” the song shifted. Now a gentle breeze teasing across the skin, by turns warm, then cold, then whipped up in a furious gale that was gone almost before it started. Luka could never shake the feeling that the image he saw when encountering the young model was an illusion as substantial as smoke on the wind. His eyes were those of a sentinel on a watch tower not the naïve aristocrat he pretended to be. 

“And he is sort of dating Kagami,” the music shifted again to the sound of gentle waves on the sea as they built towards a typhoon. “But only sort of.” The pair had ditched fencing, to show up at the Liberty, several more times since that wild rehearsal when he’d first met his strange little partner. But Adrien’s gaze toward Kagami was only warm. The same way he looked at Marinette. Especially compared to the look he had given Ladybug that day in the sewers. She had kissed him on the cheek and his eyes and voice had said she had only to ask and he would rip his heart from his chest and place it still beating at her feet, if that's what she needed. From the way she gazed after him as he ran off she would have filled the empty hole with her own.

"I think Adrien is in love with Ladybug." Luka played the purest highest, longest note he could. Like sunlight breaking through clouds after a storm. Then he whispered, almost to himself. "Maybe, I am a little too."

Sass waited for a few moments then asked gently. “I’m sorry, was there a question in that?’

“I don't know,” sighed Luka. The music paused then started up again. Having summoned the genie he found he had no idea what to wish for. 

“Then perhaps I can ask a few questions instead, hmm.” 

Luka nodded in response.

“Good, mademoiselle Marinette then, do you love her?”

“Of course,“ Luka said surprised. “She is the perfect song, the music that plays in my heart all the time since I met her.”

“I didn’t ask how you felt about her. I asked if you loved her,” Sass repeated patiently.

“I don’t understand.”

“That's alright, most people don’t. Love is not something you feel. What you feel is interest, attraction, affection, care, obsession, lust. Love is what you _do_ about what you feel. It is the choice to act with care when caring is hard, to stay when leaving is easy, to let go when the time for letting go has come, to stop and listen when listening is the last thing you want to do.”

Sass paused a beat then his tone became sly, “Ssso, what _do_ you do with the young lady in question?”

The young man's brow wrinkled in thought.

“Well… these days mostly... meditate.” It struck him suddenly how odd this was. 

It had started after rehearsal the week after Chloé had exposed them all to Hawk Moth and he had lost Sass. He had been finishing up his daily meditation when Marinette had come down to his cabin to tell him that the rest of the band was there to practice, just like the first day they met. Luka’s eyes closed as he slid into the memory, an old rock ballad whispering from his instrument.

As they had gone up to join the rest of the group she had asked if meditating was how he was able to always stay so calm. 

“Yes”, he’d responded. 

“Can you teach me?” Marinette’s voice had been almost too soft to hear.

“Sure. Why do you want to learn?”

Embarrassment threw off the rhythm of her words. “Well uh, it seems like a lot of akumas happen around our school and I umm, I’ve thought it would be good if-if I could learn to not stress out so much. I’m sure Juleka has mentioned how much of a mess I can be.” She had looked down and blushed as they came up on deck and approached the rest of the group.

“Maybe,” he had responded. “But mostly she talks about how incredible you have been at helping her get over being shy.” Marinette had blushed even harder at the compliment.

He had paused at the entrance to the main deck and watched as Marinette continued to where Juleka had stood laughing with Ivan and Alya and Nino. 

Just six months before Jukeka had been reserved, even with her friends, but Marinette had done _something_ and slowly she had opened up more and more. She had even managed to arrange for Juleka to accompany her to one of Adrien’s photo shoots at the end of the week. 

Whatever Marrinete had done, it had helped his sister bloom in a way no one else had been able to, not him, not his mother, not even Rose. And it had been Rose that had created Kitty Section which had been such a boon to him as well as her.

Just having done that would have been enough for him to do anything she asked of him. But she was so much more. Her creativity and intelligence, her kindness, the way her smile could light a whole room. He could bask in the sunshine that poured out of her for a lifetime as it led him from his own solitude. 

“So _what_ do you desire to _do_ with her?” Sass’ question broke into his thoughts like the crash of symbols. 

”Desire leads to suffering.” The Noble Truth escaped his tongue by reflex, entirely bypassing his brain.

“Ahh,” said Sass in a satisfied voce. “I thought you would be a disciple of young Siddhārtha.”

The name sounded familiar but he couldn’t place where he had heard it. “Who?”

“Known commonly in this time as The Buddha.” 

“Oh. Yes. I _knew_ that.” It struck Luka that Sass had sounded very familiar with the great teacher. “Was he one of your holders?”

“For a time. I have had the privilege of accompanying many great teachers on their journey to enlightenment.”

“I’m sure you have heard the story of how the great Naga shaded the Buddha with his hood as he sat under the Bodi tree”. The small god smiled, spread his arms and his hood doubled in width. After a few seconds Sass relaxed, hood and arms drawn back in, face returning to his more usual serious expression.

“He saw suffering all around him: Poverty, old age, greed, jealousy, sickness, death. For one who had never known any of this till he looked beyond the walls of his gilded prison, he saw it as the most important problem to be solved. Therefore the solution he provided was aimed at reducing suffering. He saw relieving want as a beyond herculean task. He could at least relieve wanting. Help people stop trying to hold tight what they could never keep.” 

“But you can't get rid of all desire, nor should you. If you stop desiring to eat or breath you die. You cannot, nor should not, be free of all desires, just those that are for the wrong things, at the wrong time, in the wrong way.” 

“In any case Sssensual Desire doesn't seem to be your primary Hindrance at the moment. You seem more beset by Sloth and Indecision.”

“Unless there _is_ something in particular you desire to do with the young lady in question.”

Luka hadn't realized he could blush like this. 

“Not unless she wants to, too, and I don’t think she does. At _least,_ not yet.” Luka's strumming turned melancholy. Slow notes in a minor key. “And I don't think with me.” In the couple of months since she had stopped chasing Adrien he had watched as Marinette stopped descending in cacophony when he was around, her words jumbled as her heart and mind tried to sing two different songs through the same mouth. Her gaze toward him was sad when she thought no one was looking, but she still watched him like he was the conductor's baton. And now that she wasn't tripping over her own feet they moved through space like the fingers of the same hand. 

“So there is competition among the young ladies' affections. Good”

“GOOD!” he blurted in shock.

“Yes, good." came the answer. “Struggle is how we know what a thing is worth to us and what we work for, we value.” 

Luka could feel the air shift as Sass’ voice took on the cadence of someone quoting holy writ. 

“For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, ... righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

Wherefore, it must needs have been created for a thing of naught; wherefore there would have been no purpose in the end of its creation.” 

“What does that mean?” Luka was now thoroughly confused.

“Tell me, _musician_ , how does a piece sound that is played all at the same tempo and volume.” 

Luka felt the answer settle in his mind like a string coming into tune. 

“It sounds like noise. It’s the contrasts that give a song its shape. Low notes make the high ones higher. A soft passage makes what follows louder. Without the changes you don't have a song, just a note.” 

Sass completed the thought, “and a note by itself means nothing.”

“Desire leads to suffering, yes, but suffering makes possible Joy. Until the Cosmic Egg cracks, it remains solitary, alone, unchanging: Unknowable and unknowing. The heart unopened can't be broken, but it also ceases to beat.” 

Luka nodded in response. “A song isn’t really finished until it is heard. But you can't control how the audience will react. And the songs that pull deepest, and mean the most, hurt coming out, because you're forcing your heart out your mouth and holding it up for everyone to see.” 

  
  


The kwami nodded approvingly. “Remember I told you that I taught the first humans something. The things that made them human.“ His tone made it almost, but not quite a question.

Luka swallowed nervously and nodded. His fingers plucked at the strings of his guitar searching for a melody.

“Two things I taught them. One, that there was such a thing as the future, and that they can give up something now for a more desirable tomorrow, and that what you hold so securely today can be lost...or stolen.” The kwami’s stare held his eyes and did _not_ permit him to look away. 

“Knowledge comes at a price. That's the second thing. Because to see the future means that you know that you want and can work for it, and you know you can lose what you want. Time, circumstance, death, _other people,_ they can take it all away. You see that you are vulnerable, unprotected, _naked_.” The last word hissed, like sandpaper across skin.

“When you know that, you know Good and Evil. Because **_you_ ** can now _take_ from others _too_ . When you know what brings you pleasure and pain you can use that knowledge to choose to hurt or to heal, to lift others up or bring them low, fulfill hopes and dash dreams. A beast just is. A human can _choose_.” The options hung in the air, unspoken, like the last notes after the pianist lifts their fingers from the keys. 

“And because you can choose, you must choose. Even _not_ choosing is a choice.

“But to do that, you have to know what it is you truly desire, and why, and what _you_ are _willing_ to sacrifice to obtain it. ”

Sass paused again, and this time his gaze grew hard, the echo of his words bored into Luka’s brain like furious violins in crescendo racing through unresolved chords toward the crash of resolution.

“So. I ask you again. Young _human_.” Sass sneared, for the first time his voice turning malevolent.

The next words came slow and deliberate, demanding answer, like the doom-filled steps of the headsman before the fall of the guillotine.

“What. Do. You. _Want_?”

Luka’s fingered stilled, and he sat unplaying for a long, long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The passage Sass quotes is from the Book of Mormon [ 2 Nephi 2:11-12](https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/bofm/2-ne/2.p11-p12#p11) Which talks a lot more about the relation between choice and suffering and joy.
> 
> For a fuller dive into the ideas about what it means to know Good And Evil see [ here](https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2018/04/21281/) and [ here](https://theexplanation.com/the-tree-of-knowledge-of-good-and-evil-the-meaning/).
> 
> For an intro to the Five Hindrances [This TED Talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-079YIasck)
> 
> My great gratitude to my Betas Tbehartoo, [MiniNoire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNoire/pseuds/MiniNoire), [TheApathy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheApathy/pseuds/TheApathy) and all the rest of the Fabulous people at the [Miraculous Fanworks Discord, come play with us.](https://discord.gg/XR6UHT)


	2. The Deeper the Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning about Principles is easy. 
> 
> Learning about People is harder.

Luka wrestled with Sass’s question for many days after their talk. It dominated his meditations, chased him as he made deliveries. It wove a discordant counterpoint to every song he tried to play.

_“What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? What do you want?”_

Thankfully, the small god did not insist that he come up with an answer right away.

Luka continued to bring out the bracelet so he could talk to the kwami after his evening meditations, hoping that their conversation might help him work out an answer to that nagging question. He kept it hidden the rest of the time. Too many of the people who knew him well enough to visit the Liberty had been outed as holders themselves to risk it being seen and getting back to Ladybug, or worse, Hawk Moth. 

The second time he summoned Sass they spent the night on the deck behind the wheelhouse, looking at the stars. Luka leaned on the ping pong table or against the rail while Sass taught him the constellations as they were known in Babylon, India and China. Even as dim as they were and surrounded by the city, he could still pick out the shapes in the stars and Sass would regale him with the stories they represented. 

The next night, they worked back around to the Greeks.

"Such good observers of the human condition," the kwami exclaimed, admiringly. "Consider the story of Eros and Psyche. A princess so lovely she outshines the goddess Beauty, but lonely because no one feels worthy to approach. She is fated to marry a terrible monster feared by the Gods. The Goddess, jealous of her praise, sends her son Desire to cause the princess of Mind and Heart to fall in love with a loathsome monster. Pricked by his own arrows, he falls in love and steals her away to be his wife. 

In his great palace, she dines on fine food and lives in luxury but her husband is invisible though she can feel him in their bed. Her sisters mock her saying he must be a monster to hide his face. In the night, she approaches with a lamp and a dagger determined to slay him if he is the monster as her sisters say. But startled by his beauty, she burns him with the lamp oil and he flees to his mother's home. She must do four impossible tasks before they are reunited, but when they are, their daughter Desire is born.” And with that, he moved on. 

Sass kept doing this, slithering through some old story and leaving. Expecting Luka to pull whatever lesson was intended out, either with questions or on his own. Eventually, they turned from pure legend to the people behind some of them. They were often holders of the Miraculous. 

“One of my holders, Asclepius, found my ability a great gift for triage and surgery.”

“Asclepius, the Greek god of healing right?”

“He would be called so now.” Sass affirmed.

“That seems like it would be a hard thing, to watch people die over and over while you figure out how to keep them alive.” Luka mused, slow sorrowful notes dripped from the strings.

“It takes a strong soul.” Sass agreed “especially to know when to not even try. Many of my holders have been healers, musicians, or both.”

“Why musicians?” Luka asked, puzzled by this juxtaposition.

“A quirk of the mechanism of memory. Bards and poets are used to holding things precisely in memory. The better the memory, the longer a vision of the future _we_ can sustain.” That made sense, Luka thought, those multiple repeats of the same events did feel like rehearsing a piece like the Goldberg variations or working out a new arrangement on a song.

“How long…” Luka's voice trailed off. Ladybug had asked him to watch for changes because she thought they would get to a point where they could sustain the power indefinitely as they grew older and he was the oldest holder among her team.

“The longest any could manage was from their waking to their sleeping, usually not quite a day at their very best. Most could only do a little under an hour.” 

“Is that the same as the number of resets?” 

Sass laughed, “No that is quite different. How many rounds you can go is... a measure of stubbornness I suppose.

“The young man who held my miraculous immediately previous to you was most impressive in his endurance. He sustained consecutive resets for a total of 6 weeks, 2 days, 22 hours, 31 minutes, and 46 seconds.”

Luka huffed, strings on his guitars squealing his surprise. “Adrien did that?” He remembered his own first outing as Viperion. They had defeated Desperada in under twenty repetitions and that had been grueling. The shock of returning to the same point in time felt like the snap of breaking a string during a song. Triggering the reset on Second Chance made his skin feel tight and ready to split open if he breathed too deep or bumped into something. 

“How many times did Adrien trigger Second Chance?”

“25913. His focus that first time wasssss... not as good as it should have been. I think he wassss... distracted.”

Luka wasn't sure if he should laugh at that or not. On the one hand, Sass’s sly insinuations that Adrien was staring too hard at Ladybug to pay attention to the battle or trying too hard to impress her made perfect sense. On the other, failure after failure would have worn anyone to the bone and beyond. Luka was not sure he could have gone more than a couple of hours, much less a day. To have looped for weeks on end without a break was almost beyond comprehension.

Adrien's dedication to Ladybug was obviously more than a celebrity crush. This wasn't the first thing that had impressed Luka about the other youngman. He had met enough people in the Media industry to know that lots of them were takers. Though usually not as blatant as XY. Adrien was a giver, and this wasn't the first indication that he would give until he had nothing left and keep going.

“Does what you're focusing on make that much difference?” Luka asked, beginning to pace back and forth along the rail. He needed to move and it was hard to talk and play at the same time.

“Yes. If you're not fully present in the moment your ability to see the needed action is greatly diminished. You must broaden your vision to truly wield the power of Prometheus.”

“Prometheus!?” Luka exclaimed pausing in his perambulations. 

“Yes,'' said Sass. “Now there was a man of vision!” Pride filled the kwami’s voice. “His brother Epimetheus held the Rabbit for a time. He never did seem to learn how to use Fluff’s gift effectively.” Luka wasn't sure who Fluff was but suspected that the Miraculous they inhabited also dealt with time. Probably showing the past to balance Second Chances' view into the future.

“Did you ever get... warriors, soldiers,” _killers,_ echoed from the depth of his mind _._ He bent over the guitar hip hitched against the rail, staring at his hands as they began picking out a martial tune. 

“Oh yes,” Sass seemed quite pleased at his question. “Though not usually for long.” Now he sounded regretful. 

Luka fingers stilled again. “Why?” he asked trepidatiously.

“Usually, either they stop or they get themselves killed. Battle is very random, and memory is not just in the mind but the body. Anything you practice comes back with you, as well as any pain. More than a few holders have died because they were still reacting to a wound received in a previous cycle. Others forgot that it wasn't only a sword or spear that could kill them.”

Sass paused and looked at him closely, “You seem particularly concerned about this.“ 

Luka felt the furrow between his brows deepen, his body hunching in on itself more. When he answered his voice was so low even he almost couldn't hear it. “I threatened to kill a man once. I tried to destroy another one.” Luka ran out of words. He could not regret chasing away the first nor seeking redress on the second, but he burned with shame that he did not. “I can want evil things.“

“And what does that mean?” asked Sass.

“It means I am a monster,” Luka mourned, a fierce dirge pouring forth from his guitar.

“And what does that mean?” came the question again.

“I can hurt people. People I don't like, people I don't even know… my friends.“ That was far too small a number. He had neverminded before. For all her shyness, Juleka was the one that needed people. His mom, his sister, and his guitar had always been enough before. 

Before Marinette.

Bouncing around from place to place, only finally washing ashore in the Liberty four years ago when he entered _collège_ had made it hard to connect with other kids. And he had never really been motivated to try. Luka had never been much of a talker. More than one person had made the joke that guitar was his first language. 

His date with Marinette, Adrien, and Kagami had been the first time he'd chosen to go out with friends that he could remember. The first time he'd cared. Before he had just tagged along with what was going on or taken Juleka places.

His mother's choices in boyfriends and girlfriends had not helped matters. Ankara would have welcomed anybody he’d brought home with open arms, but he had never known when it might be safe to do so until a couple years ago when she finally gave up on romance. Well, sex anyway. At least with people. 

"And what does that mean?" That **_question,_** _again._ Breaking him out of his revery

“It means I'm dangerous.” Luka yelled, his words crashing alongside the cord he smashed out of his axe. 

“And what's wrong with being dangerous?” The little snake asked into the pregnant silence that followed. 

The words echoed in the darkness and around the inside of his skull.

“I...could hurt someone?” He began pacing again.   
“You said that before. Do you?” Sass’ continued evenly. 

“Do what?”

“Hurt people.”

“I did!” Luka’s knuckles whitened as he gripped the neck of his guitar.

“Why?“ 

“Because they hurt Juleka!” Luka startled himself with the fierceness of his whispered words.

“And you wanted to hurt them back.” It was not a question.

“No! Yes, I don't know. Maybe.” Luka sank to the deck leaning against the safety rail.

Sass settled floating in the air in front of Luka’s face “Why then?” he asked.

“Because, I need to keep them, her, safe”. Luka whispered.

“So _why_ do you think what you wanted was evil?”

This new question stayed with Luka for the whole next day.

Fortunately, the answer to that question came much quicker than the other.

The next night, their conversation took place in the “sitting room” in the bow. 

“I didn’t just _want_ to hurt that man.” Luka began, without preamble, strumming the chorus to _Janie’s Got a Gun_ softly. “I _wanted_ to kill him.”

“Which man?” 

“The one that was... hurting my sister.” He stumbled a bit. There was probably a better word, but he didn’t know enough about what the man had done to know what it was. He didn't know how to ask Juleka, and he wasn't sure she would know how to tell him if he did.

“Why?”

“To make him go away. So Juleka,” _and Mom_ his inner voice whispered, “would be safe. That's not an evil thing.” Arosmith’s classic chords faded into _Kryptonite._ “I just chose a bad way to do it.” 

“So, was that the only thing you could have done?” came the gentle inquiry.

“Probably not. But, it was what I could think of when I was 12. And it _did_ work.” 

“There could have been consequences. They could have taken you away. Who would have kept them safe then?” 

“Wasn't thinking that far ahead. I was only twelve and scared. Not like when XY stole our work. Him and _M Roth_.” Luka sneared the name. “Then I was mad.”

“Is M Roth the one you tried to destroy?” 

“Y _esss_ ,” Luka hissed harshly. “It wasn't bad enough that he and XY stole our work… her work. It’s that they did it so... half-assed. They couldn't even be bothered to make good knock-offs.“ Luka fumed. “Number one chart topper in France with teams of people to do his wardrobe and props and he comes out dressed in a _kindergarten art project_.” Luka didn't remember the last time he had felt so insulted..

“So you care about your art, or perhaps her art in this case.”

“Yes. But I care about her more. And if I'm not good enough an artist to threaten a pathetic poseur like XY, how will I be able to support her dreams? Having the power to act means you can hurt someone. If i'm too scared of my own power to try and protect her, what good is it?” He smirked and played the opening riff of the James Bond theme. “If I have no power of my own to make or break, why should the most amazing girl in the world give me the time of day? If I’m going to be of any worth, I will be a monster to someone. Hopefully just to the cowards and thieves.”

“Good. Your eyes are open. You are beginning to see.” Luka felt his chest swell with pride at the kwami’s praise. “You told me you've helped a lot of people to see.” Luka said. 

“You could say that. Humans have [special cells in their eyes](https://www.amazon.com/Fruit-Tree-Serpent-Why-Well/dp/0674061969) and a brain to notice [me and my kin](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/3b7q8v/did-mammals-evolve-snake-eyes). It is why you see so well. _You,_ Luka, have very good eyes. Use them.” And with that, the kwami retired to the miraculous and conversation stopped for the night. 

Luka was still thinking when Saturday came around and Juleka went off to the photo shoot with Adrien and Marinette. She was already gone when he awoke, he supposed it was to get Marinette up. Make sure she didn't make them late.

He spent the day working on new songs and going over Sass’s questions; and answers. He thought about what he saw in the ways people moved, and stood, and looked, and talked. All the things he had never been able to put into words, but that had flowed out in music as easily as breathing. Each person had a language all their own, and it took time to learn. Most never realized, his mom certainly hadn't. He’d learned watching Anarka’s many tries at love. Learned to watch them for sign’s they were going to stay, or leave, or start a fight, or fuck. Stuff he needed to know to keep himself and Juleka out of the line of fire. He had played them into his music, sometimes mockingly. 

He had recognized early that everybody responded to these signs, just not consciously. Most never looked close enough to see that everyone's body spoke differently. That learning one person's language wouldn't necessarily help you read the next one. That people could, and would, and usually did _lie_ with their faces and bodies as well as their words. There were no universal tells that you could watch for that showed when _any_ person lied. The best liars had no tells at all. 

Luka decided he needed to _see_ more. 

Rose showed up around lunch, anxious to hear how the big day went. He watched her fidget around The Liberty, or sitting with her notebook _not_ working on songs, but instead glancing towards the bank and away. She wanted to know, yet was scared at the same time. But of course she would go below deck right before the car arrived.

When Juleka got out of the Agreste’s silver sedan she was practically floating. Luka hadn't seen her so visibly excited in years, not even when they got their video selected for that fake music contest or when Marinette broke her photo curse. 

Adrien waited for the Gorilla to extract her bike from the cavernous trunk and then walked it across the boarding plank. 

“Luka, today was sooooo awesome! I got to wear the coolest clothes, and look at what they did to my hair.” She swished around just long enough for him to tell that it had been restyled and highlights added, but she was bouncing around so much he couldn't tell more than that. “Oh and Mdm Madoka said I had potential, and there was this really freaky akuma. He's had this head like a 360 camera it was so awesome! He was tough too, Ladybug had to call in this new Hero.” When she said this there was a flicker of... something in her expression he wasn't able to identify. But before he could figure it out, Rose barreled up from where she had been getting a snack in the galley and tackled-hugged Juleka. 

They backed off from each other, jumping up and down, hands clasped between them. His usually reserved sister was matching the energy of the pint-sized pink whirlwind that loved her more than anything else in the world. 

Juleka then proceeded to relate, in excruciating detail the whole day from hauling Marinette out of bed, through meeting the style team, watching the shoot, the akuma, getting the opportunity to fill in for another girl who wasn't up to continuing. As this high speed recitation roard by like a freight train, Luka glanced over at Adrien and realized Marinette had come up behind the blond boy. They were standing shoulder to shoulder, faces suffused with pride like parents watching their daughter receive an award. 

Their body language when together was a puzzle. When Marinette was _focused_ on Adrien her song was a mess, though not as bad these days as a couple months ago, before she had stopped “chasing” him. Then she had been a crate of tennis balls emptied over an orchestra percussion section. Now it was just one violin with a sharped string. As soon as she focused on something else, everything came back into tune and they moved together like the two hands of a master pianist.

Luka knew that he didn't get either reaction from Marinette, at least not since he surprised her the first time. They played solidly together, but it was all slow songs, nothing to get the blood moving. 

When Juleka finally exhausted the story of her day, she spun herself in a circle until she was dizzy then flopped onto her back in the middle of the deck. Almost immediately she popped back up to sit cross-legged. She threw an arm around Rose, who snuggled up to her side, a beatific smile plastered across her face.

Juleka’s stare bore into Adrien's face with the intensity of a long Beach Boys riff. “When can I do that again?” she gushed.

“I’ll ask Nathalie to check. I bet we can get you an interview with the agency. You will need to put together a portfolio though. Even if Madoka does like you, she doesn't do the first cut. But I can help you practice, and get a shoot for your portfolio. ” Adrien said, eyes shining. Luka could see he wanted to help so much. 

“Do you have time to stay?” He asked. 

Adrien’s face fell. “No, I've got to get home.” Every line of his body screamed that he would rather be anywhere else than his house. Luka tried a little push. “Tell you what, if I take Marinette home, do you have time for a song or two before you go?” 

Luka watched as the emotions warred across Adrien's body. Sudden tension in his jaw and shoulders at the suggestion of Luka escorting Marinette home fought with the longing glance that Adrien shot at where the ZX20.4 was set up opposite the drum kit. He leaned slightly toward it .

Marinette’s eyes kept jumping between the two of them. Concern and hope laid across her brow when she looked at Adrien, puzzlement when she glanced at himself, like she was trying to figure out what he was doing. 

“One song,” Luka wheedled. “Juleka looks like she wants to dance and she ought to have music for that,” he swung his guitar up and tore into the first chords of _She's Got the Look_. Adrien cracked and raced to his keyboard. The Gorilla tapped his foot and the girls grooved and posed, Jule and Rose together in their own world, Marinette arms up and eyes closed. Sometimes she danced toward him, other times toward Adrien. Her movements were pure and clean and confident as long as her eyes were closed. But whenever she noticed Adrien’s eyes on her, she fell out of rhythm before meeting his gaze and smoothing out again. It was slight, and Luka doubted anyone else noticed, but it was there. 

The only thing that would have made their impromptu concert beter was if Kagami was there. She was the best audience. Nino was too much a producer to let himself go and Meylene and Alya were mostly there to support. Even Marinette couldn't stop designing long enough to just be in the moment, listening, the way Kagami was. 

They managed to squeeze out three whole songs before the bodyguard reluctantly insisted they leave. Luka played Adrien off with _Sharp Dressed Man_ and watched carefully as Marinette’s eyes followed him, cheeks pinking, as he strutted across the gangway and to the car, a swagger in his step that looked familiar, but Luka couldn't match it to any of his memories of the model. 

After Adrien left, Juleka grabbed her bass and they played a few more songs before he took Marinette home. It was good to see Juleka playing with a more confident set to her shoulders, leaning into the notes and playing strong to where Marinette sat listening. She sang along with Rose for a couple of her favorites, something she had never done before. 

Marinette sat sideways on the rack behind his seat, arms loose around his waist as he peddled toward the bakery. He could feel her thinking with the way she fidgeted as her cheek rested against his back . 

“What’s on your mind Marinette?” he asked. Her arms tightened as she burrowed her face into his back. It was a good minute before she mumbled an answer “I still want what I can’t have.” 

One of the adages Sass had shared with him popped into Luka’s mind. “The heart wants what the heart wants.” _What do I want that I’m afraid to let myself know I want?_ Luka wondered. “You can’t command your feelings, just your actions.” 

"Sometimes I'm not sure I can even do that.” Marinette said as she turned her head to the side again. 

They traveled in silence again for the last few blocks before reaching her home. Before fully reaching the door, Marinette hopped off the bike. Hands clasped behind her back, she turned to face him. Luka retrieved Marinette’s sketchbook from one of his saddle bags, then kissed her cheek as he leaned over to hand it to her. 

“You are the most amazing girl I have ever met Marinette.” He whispered as she stood wide eyed, fingers resting tentatively where his lips had brushed her. “I think you could have whatever you wanted. If you let yourself. Good night.” He peddled off before she could respond. 

Luka retreated to the ship's bow again that night to release Sass. He’d made a plate full of deviled eggs, as a treat and because he wanted to talk more than listen this time. He sat himself and the plate down on the cable spool that served for a table. As the serpent settled beside the plate Luka began, ”I don’t know everything I want yet, but I know what I don't want.” 

“Good. What _don’t_ you want?” Sass asked. 

“I don't want my mother's life.” Luka was firm on this.

“Oh, I thought you liked music.” Sass’ voice was overly jovial.

Luka snorted. “I think I could give up breathing first. I love the music, it's the chaos I can do without. Mom jumps from thing to thing and place to place, because she won't compromise so she can’t commit. It's her way or no way at all. If she’s bent for us at all, it’s only because it's what she wants too. I’ve certainly spent enough of my time picking up after her.” Doing laundry, getting bills paid on time was fine. It was finding her _toys_ left out that bugged him. 

Luka sighed, “I love my mom. She has always been here for us and she’s given us a lot of good things, but this is the first time we've stayed in one place for more than a year and it's mostly just because _she_ is slowing down.” Anarka was older than a lot of the other kids' moms he knew at school by at least a decade. After having left Jagged’s band, she’d toured solo for a while but ended up settling on session work when he was born. 

“Juleka has Rose, at least for now, and I want something too, something that’s more than a fucking one night stand. More than being a backup player and roadie in my little sister's life, all my time spent just making sure she's ok.” He could say that now, now that he was more sure that she _was_ going to be ok. As much as he loved Juleka, he was her brother not her parent and he couldn’t spend his life pretending to be. “I want to build my own life and family, and build it to last.” 

“And you want that with Marinette?”

“God yes. I want to make beauty. I want to be around people who make beauty. Marinette breathes and beauty happens. It pours out of her like rain out of the sky or sounds out of mom's big speakers.” 

“So you are going to take her from Adrien.” 

“She's not someone you _take_ , you just tell her you're ready to receive what she gives. She's just not ready to give herself to me yet. If ever.” _He Stopped Loving Her Today_ was the saddest love song ever and fit his mood perfectly as he contemplated this state of affairs.

Luka played thoughtfully for a verse before exclaiming, “I don’t understand Marinette and Adrien, Sass.” He’d watched them so closely over the afternoon and thought back to what he'd seen of them together before that. “They are beautiful music together. They fit so well if only they would just let themselves.” Luka could not remember when he was more frustrated. “It's like they're stuck in a record scratch repeating the same phrase over and over. No matter how good it is it wears you out.” Luka watched his serpentine companion swallow one egg and pick up another. “Tell me exactly what you think you are seeing.” Sass said then lifted the next egg to his mouth. 

Luka noodled on his guitar for a moment gathering his thoughts. “I know Marinette is in love with Adrien, and she’s trying to not be. I had hoped she would turn to me if he turned her down. But she never told him, just decided to step aside for Kagami. I watched her face that day at the Seine after Queen Bee betrayed us. I should have realized she was putting her whole heart in a box, not just the part she wanted to give him.” Luka glanced as Sass again where he was seated by the steadily diminishing plate of eggs. The kwami picked up another one and motioned for him to continue. Alice in Chains _Confusion_ seemed an appropriate accompaniment. 

“But Adrien is not in love with Kagami. He's trying, andI don’t know why, unless Ladybug told him they can’t be together. The way they looked at each other that day in the sewers should have lit the whole city on fire. You saw it too right?” Luka asked suddenly unsure.

“Indeed,” Sass paused his eating to answer. “They both wanted _him_ to wield my power that day for romantic rather than combat reasons.” Reassured at his interpretation, Luka went on. “I don’t know if Adrien _can_ stop loving Ladybug, anymore that Mari can stop loving him. Or me her. And Kagami, I don't think she realizes she looks at Marinette the way she does. She looks at Adrien like he's a fortress to conquer, but she looks at Marinette like she's water in the desert.” Luka sighed and reached over to grab the last egg. He stared at it for a moment morosely. “ _We’re_ going to have to untangle this, aren't we Sass.” The kwami’s serene expression was all the answer he needed.

He popped the egg into his mouth and pursed his lips for a second, then smirked and picked up an electric. It was time to push himself. He’d been playing it safe for far to long. And the _Mission:Impossible_ theme was just fun to play.

The next time Adrien was at the Liberty, it was another one of his and Kagami’s escapes. There wasn’t a rehearsal that day so no one was there but him. Ankara was doing a gig and had gone to set up. Juleka had gone over to Marinette’s for… something, and he called them to head over as soon as he saw Adrien’s car approaching. 

The pair were clambering out of the car, fencing bags over their shoulders, almost before it stopped. 

“Permission to come aboard?” came Kagami's joyful voice as she bounded across the gangway and plopped her bag down on the deck. 

“Where is everybody?“ Adrien's eyes were searching rapidly across the ship. 

“Juleka was out on an errand but she said she and Mari should be here soon. Were you expecting rehearsal tonight?” Luka watched both of them perk up at Marinette's name. 

“No,” said Adrien,”I know that practice isn't till Saturday. I actually have a meeting with Juleka, and Kagami was able to tag along.” His eyes were everywhere but on Luka or Kagami.

Suddenly, he flinched and started rubbing the top of his head “Oww,” both boys looked over his shoulder to where Kagami was already dressed to fence, grinning and brandishing her saber. “Maybe we should have some practice after all." she said, then stuck out her tongue and pulled her mask over her head. She tapped Adrien hard enough to make him flinch again and scampered to the back of the boat, cackling. With impressive speed, Adrien tore open his fencing bag, donned his jacket and mask, and raced after his partner in red. Luka put the two bags off to the side of the green house and watched them clamber all over the boat, improvising riffs to the beat of their clashing weapons. 

Their music was a different song from the one that played between Adrien and Marinette. Full of fire and challenge, rivals pushing each other to the edge of their limits. Adrien's strikes were playful, always with a bit of flourish. And sneaky, Adrien was freakishly sneaky. His touches were never where you would expect. Kagami was much more direct, sharp and precise but full of joy in every movement. Luka had never seen any one who moved with such exquisite relish. Kagami’s sword flowed through space as smoothly as the waters of the Seine flowed past the Liberty, her body following behind as naturally as night follows day. Every strike was confident, every lunge and parry accomplished with sensual grace. 

By the time his sister and his crush arrived along with Rose in tow, the two fencers had ceased racing around the boat like Flynn and Rathbone, or maybe Turner and Swan. They had settled into regulation bouts in the greenhouse area, with himself refereeing. The rules were not complicated and he took it as good “seeing” practice. The fire they had displayed when playing was now banked and quiet.

The other girls eased around the tree to the sitting area. Marinette was carrying a box of her parents pastries and carefully trying to avoid looking him in the eye. Juleka had her own box, so did Rose. As one, Adrien and Kagami stopped, doffed their helmets and turned towards them. 

“Marinette!” Kagami cried with obvious excitement to see her friend, "Come play with us."

“Oh no! I couldn't possibly interrupt your practice. I don't have a jacket or helmet and you need so much more practice than me… not that I’m saying I’m better than you or that I've been practicing a lot, it's only been a couple of times...” As her babbling trailed off, Marinette buried her face in the pastry box and sank to her haunches, missing that Adrien had already pulled an extra jacket from his bag and glided over to her, Kagami trailing behind.

“Put it on, Marinette.” Adrien’s eyes pleaded like a puppy, his voice hungry with need. 

“What!?” 

As Marinette startled up from her embarrassed crouch, Kagami smoothly extracted the box of treats and set them down on the coffee table as Adrien eased her into the fencing jacket. 

Kagami grabbed Marinette and dragged her over to where she and Adrian had been making passes. Adrian looked longingly at them for a second then, hustled over to where Juleka and Rose were seated on the couch opening their boxes, which disgorged shoes of all things. Rose had found, somehow somewhere, white platform ankle boots with a heel that looked like a unicorn horn 15 cm long and a rainbow mane down the back. Juleka had more conventional looking black pumps with what he guessed was a 7 cm heel. Rose had hers on first and then stood, somewhat wobbly, reaching out to steady herself on Adrien's shoulder. Juleka took a bit longer unlacing and removing her hightops then stood carefully without assistance. She had shot up a couple inches in the last couple months and would have been taller than the tottering Rose even in her stocking feet. 

As Adrian guided them carefully to the open area in front of the stage where Kitty Section usually performed and began coaching them through walking and posing, Luka turned his attention back to Kagami and Marinette. After a couple of passes where Marinette was distracted watching Adrien, Kagami switched their direction and they began drilling parries, repost and block positions. Despite their mutual interest in the blond model they quickly turned their focus on each other and settled into a smooth rhythm. Luka watched this new song play out. 

Despite Marinette’s apparent inexperience she matched Kagami stroke for stroke, even as the tempo increased they traded blows for nearly a minute before Marinette got the first touch. She danced her celebration, sword raised in triumph, feet fluttering and hips wiggling like a cat preparing to pounce.

“See, I knew you could do it,” Kagami exalted. “Lets go again. This time I won't go so easy on you.” “Well see who goes easy on whom.” Marinette shot back. 

The next bouts went faster. The first few passes were all serious competition, Kagami taking them two to one. But then they grew playful, almost flirtatious. Teasing each other with steel as much as words. It was so fascinating to watch, Luka almost missed Adrien’s return. The other boy's expression was as starstruck as Luka felt his own was. “Aren't they beautiful?” Adrien whispered reverently. Luka found he could only nod. He glanced over to see the other two girls practicing the walk, pose and turn pattern of the fashion runway. Rose was still a little wobbly. Juleka seemed to have eased into it her walk becoming more languid and cat-like at every turn. 

Adrian traded places with Kagami who came to stand by the table. Extracting and nibbling on her own pastry from the magic box. Luka watched as Marinettes typical Adrien induced bad rhythm settled out in only a few bouts. Adrien offered praise and suggestions in equal measure. As their current bout dragged into its second minute, Luka noted Kagami’s pensive expression and the question marks between her brows and stood so he could speak without interrupting the “fight” in front of them.

“10 Yen for your thoughts,“ was his opening bid. 

Kagami folded her arms and replied. “I may have to give change, but for what it's worth, I thought Adrien and I were a perfect match, but now I'm not so sure.” Her voice sounded distracted, her sharp mind apparently focused on the puzzle in front of her. 

“Why do you think that?’ Luka was finding he enjoyed asking questions, and he could appreciate more Sass reluctance to give away the answers.

“We're so alike, He and I, our status , our parents, our skill. But I'm not sure if he has the fire that I do. The ambition to make himself his own person.” Luka raised an eyebrow at that remembering what Sass had said about Adriens time with the Snake. “Maybe he just has a different ambition?”

“No he wants freedom as much as I do.” _Parry._ “Are you sure the freedom he wants looks like yours?” _Reposte._ “Is he really what you want? Or just familier?” _Touch_. “ It can be very comforting to go with the familier,” Luka whispered, as he eased up to her left ear. His breath caresing the skin of her neck. “Wouldn't it be fun to try someone totally different?” 

He drew his head back swiftly so he wouldn't get hit as her head whipped around and she stared at him with wide eyes. He winked at her and then folded himself back onto the couch softly strumming his guitar.

Kagime strode back over to the other two fencers in a huff blushing furiously.

“ _Viva la différence.”_ Luka murmured as he grabbed an eclair. Juleka walked up, already noticeably more steady on her feet, and selected her own treat. 

“What are you up to?” She mumbled around a chocolate croissant. 

“Figuring out what I want,” he said quietly back to her. 

He watched Kagami, Adrien, and Marinette play for almost an hour till the Gorilla appeared to drag them away. trying to find the song they made together and wishing he could watch the music he made with each of them. There was power in what he saw growing between them. It was rough and something was missing, like he was hearing only harmony lines without the melody. Maybe he could help write that missing line. Not backup anymore but a bass line to make music that could dazzle the world. 

Luka let this idea wash over him and decided maybe his problem was never wanting too much but not wanting enough. 

The next Saturday he spent experimenting with the songs he had heard in his friends' interactions while waiting for the rest of the band to arrive. Trying to fill in the missing music. 

Juleka called out from the upper deck. "Oh brother dear. Kagami is here. To see _you_. A~lo~one." 

Luka listened to the clatter of feet down the ladder, wondering what had caused Kagami to go through the effort of sneaking out without Adrien. He opened his eyes to see the normally confident fencer standing in his door biting her lower lip. Her back was hunched defensively, left hand clutching her right arm tight to her body as if in pain.

Luka smiled to himself.

It was time to find out what someone _else_ wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My great gratitude to my Betas on this chapter [SoloRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloRaven/profile), [MarinetteAgresteBrand](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarinetteAgresteBrand/pseuds/MarinetteAgresteBrand), [LambdaSoup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LambdaSoup/pseuds/LambdaSoup) and all the rest of the Fabulous people at the [Miraculous Fanworks Discord, come play with us.](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)


	3. Love is Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sass has been teaching Luka to really know himself.
> 
> Luka gets the chance to use what he has learned to get to know someone else.
> 
> Kagami is not going to know what hit her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic keeps growing on me.

Kagami was frustrated. 

This relationship was not going like she had hoped.

It should have been good. The first couple of weeks were fabulous. Eating ice cream on the banks of the Seine. The gentle way he touched her cheek. He was throwing himself into their fencing with a ferocity that she found intoxicating. Their sweet, sweet first kiss. 

But soon there was a tension that seeped into him. She could see it in the way he held his shoulders, in the constant, slight narrowing of his eyes. Eyes that had circles under them that hadn't been there before. She asked once, and he said that it was work related and he couldn't talk about it, but he appreciated her concern. Then he gave her a kiss that curled her toes.

Unfortunately, nothing she did seemed to help. At least not for long. Not exhausting himself on the piste, not playing the piano. Not their far too infrequent opportunities to savor kissing. 

But being around Marinette helped. 

It was hard to begrudge him since she was taking advantage of the effect herself. 

Kagami had begun stopping by the bakery after fencing the week after the friendship competition. She was working through Tom & Sabine’s entire collection of desserts one at a time. She would get a pastry and a hug, and if Marinette was available, alone or with her other friends, they would sit in the park or her room and laugh, and eat, and drink orange juice. Kagami could feel stress drain out of her like the receding tide. 

Breathing was easier around Marinette, even when they were laughing so hard that their ribs hurt. Occasionally, Adrien would be able to join them and she could see whatever tension he was holding blow away, like dust in the wind. 

These moments were always bittersweet. Kagami could see the way Marinette’s smile would not quite reach her eyes as she watched Adrien hold Kagami’s hand, or kiss her cheek, and she would remember watching her best friend choose to step aside so Kagami could have the boy they both loved. 

The times that she would “kidnap” Adrien away to the Liberty for a rehearsal or performance were better. The typical crowd of other people and the music provided ample distraction from any awkwardness. And Luka was there, steady and serine as Fujiyama.

So, now she found herself alone at the Liberty for the first time. She had only ever been before with Adrien or a couple of times just with Marinette. Alya had been bugging her to come to what she was calling her SHA (Superheroes Anonymous) meetings for a month, but she had resisted. She was surprised to see that she recognized other holders when they had assembled under Queen Bee’s akumatized power. And while she understood Alya’s desire to get together and talk, she had no idea what she would have _said_ had she gone to one of those get-togethers that the junior journalist and fellow miraculous holder had tried to organize. Of that group, it was really only Alya and Luka that she knew.

She wasn't sure why she was here _now_ , except that everything she thought she knew about her relationship with Adrien was wrong. She needed to talk to someone who could see and Luka had the best eyes. Better than hers, better than Adrien’s. She was seeing the world with _tengen_ most of the time now and occasionally reaching the level of _egen,_ interpretive sight _,_ but she could tell that Luka could see with the compassionate eye, _shingen_. That was the only reason.

Kagami took a deep breath, stepped from the car, and straightened the ensemble of red jacket, blouse, and black skirt Marinette had made for her as a more casual version of her usual school uniform. “Tatsu, wait here, I will call you when I am done,” she ordered. 

“ _Hai_ Kagami-sama,” answered the stiff robotic voice of her artificial chauffeur. 

As she walked toward the Couffaine’s boat, she saw Juleka tuning her bass at the stage area, while Rose flitted about clearing space. She waved at the two other girls, who waved back as she approached, and slowly crossed the plank bridge from the bank to the boat's deck. ”It's so good to see you,” squeaked Rose as she tackled Kagami in a bone crushing hug. It was always startling just how tiny the blond girl was. Rose’s personality always made her seem twice as big and her un-self-conscious and enthusiastic affection was balm to the wounded heart. 

Kagami’s mother had been happy that she seemed to be finding friends. Her visits to Marinette's house to make chocolates or hangout with her and her other friends were one of Kagami’s greatest treasures. 

“You're here early,” drawled Juleka as the tall young woman ambled over to join them. Taller. She had traded her sneakers for low boots with spiked heels and chains around the ankle. “Where’s your date?“ the way she raised her brow hinted at her underlying question: why are you here by yourself?

Kagami looked away. “I need to talk to Luka.” _Did she sound as desperate to Juleka as she did to herself?_

Juleka tossed her head back and barked a quick laugh then sashayed over to the stairs down to the lower level of the boat. Her hair bouncing and swishing as her hips swayed ferociously. There had been a marked change in her demeanor in the last couple of weeks. She had obviously been diligent in practicing the model walking forms Adrien had instructed her in the last time they were here. _Was it really only three days ago?_

"Oh, brother dear,” she sang. Leaning down into the stairwell, left hand on her cocked hip, right resting on her knee. She had been practicing her poses too. “Kagami is here. To see you.” she looked back at Kagami without straightening and smirked, ”A~lo~one." She jerked her head sideways toward the stairs indicating that Kagami should go down rather than waiting for Luka to come up. 

Kagami felt her face flash fire and she began doing meditative breathing, softly so as not to be noticed, as she untangled herself from Rose and headed for the stairs. She felt Juleka’s half-lidded stare on her the whole way across the boat. Kagami hurried down the stairs to get out from under that speculative gaze.

She paused briefly at the bottom of the stairs to furtively scrawl the kanji for man on her palm and swallow it, knowing, but not caring, that it was a silly superstition. She took a couple deep breaths before proceeding toward the door to Luka’s room, hoping that that and the childrens’ spell had been enough to conquer the furious blush that had sufused her face. 

At the door, she paused shyly not quite daring to look him in the eye, even if they were closed as he sat in a meditative lotus on the bed. Then he opened them, and she had to look away from his gaze that seemed to plumb the depths of her very soul. 

“Hello Kagami,” Luka’s voice caressed her like a warm summer breeze. “To what do I owe this _great_ pleasure?” 

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,_ came the traitorous thought. But she was here and the best way out was through, _never hesitate_. “I need answers and I think you can give them to me.”

“Now why would you think that I have the answers you need?” The musician had picked up his guitar and began strumming it softly. 

Kagami took up a deep breath. “Because you see better than anyone else than I know, and I can't see what I need to see.”

“I’m flattered,” Luka bent a [ mocking note at her ](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/4f94abe2-ce79-4551-ab87-9fc3bf30edda). “What do you think I have seen that you haven't?”

“Maybe what it is that Adrien sees and does not see in me.” 

The boy scooted back on his bed to sit against the external wall. “Come, sit. Tell me what you're feeling. Maybe we can find the answer to your heart’s question.” 

Kagami ignored this suggestion, and instead leaned against the open door with her arms folded, hands clutching each elbow. _Why not. I came for answers didn’t I?_

“I thought,” Kagami swallowed against the catch in her voice. “I thought we were made for each other.”

“Why?” Luka’s question flowed like sand over stone.

“Because I _thought_ he was my perfect match.” _Thought, had it been thought or just hormones._ Kagami forced herself to continue. _“_ He is a worthy opponent. Fencing with him pushes me past the edge of my ability. He's also a person of taste and refinement. He knows how to move in the social circles that I will always find myself in as my mother's daughter and Grandfather’s granddaughter. But he is not arrogant or cold. He is kind and gentle. Playful. He makes my heart happy.” Kagami didn't think she had ever been able to put these feelings into words before. “I can’t give him up, not even for Marinette. She is my first and best friend, but I can't give up on him for her. No matter how it hurts her.” _Surely she should feel ashamed to admit this._

“I thought he was already yours?” Luka’s question slithered into her ear, carried on the soft melody he was playing. 

Kagami barked a self-derisive laugh. “Ha, I thought so, too.” Things had been going so well. Although, Kagami wished Adrien's father had been as truly accommodating as the way he talked about their relationship suggested. It had only been two days ago that she had actually been permitted to see the inside of Adrien's room unsupervised for longer than a few minutes. 

“I thought my only rival for Adrien's heart was Marinette,” she said wistfully. “Then Adrien showed me his Shrine.” That's where it fell apart. They had played a round of foosball and she had looked through his library of books and movies, finding a few of her own favorites buried in his collection of light novels, manga and anime. She had asked what _his_ favorites were, and he had shown her his secret. There, in the back of his huge walk-in closet, were posters and figurines from his absolute favorites. And Ladybug. Far and away, the bulk of the collection was Ladybug. “I could see it in his eyes, his face, in every line of his body. He loves- 

“ _Ladybug_ ,” Luka’s voice rang out in perfect sync. 

“You know.” Her voice was a breathy whisper. She knew she had gone to Luka for his insight, but his confidence in his pronouncement still surprised her. She scowled, “How do you know!?“ 

Luka snorted. “I saw them in the tunnels when Ladybug asked me to be Viperion the first time. If it wasn’t love that I saw in Adrien’s eyes as he looked at her, I have never seen it nor will I ever. Ladybug looked at him the same way to be honest.” 

Kagami started at that. Suddenly Ladybug carrying her away to fight Heart Hunter took on a different color. Her anger flashed magma hot for a moment then burned out almost immediately. She was willing to break her best friend's heart to be with Adrien. Why should Ladybug not do the same? _Especially_ if he returned her feelings. She slumped against the door. “Then, I never had a chance,” she whispered. 

“Oh, I wouldn't say that,” Luka replied. “He's dating _you_ now, after all.“ 

Kagami sank down, to sit leaning against the wall, face buried in her knees. “I suppose.” She mumbled into her skirt, then lifted her head again to look at where Luka sat. “But _why_ is he dating me? If she is as in love with him as he is apparently with her, then why is he even _trying_ to have a relationship with me?” And she could tell that he _was_ trying. They had been on several dates. A handful of dinners, usually at their respective homes; a couple of business functions trailing after their parents. 

They had shared ice cream from André. _Twice_ that day when they had escaped that horrible ceremony with the parents of that pathetic Bourgeois girl who had so betrayed Ladybug, and at least once a week after that. There were the times she had been able to sneak him out to the Liberty. Other than fencing practice, those were her favorite times with him. 

She loved the way he played when he was playing with Kitty Section. She had heard him play on the baby grand piano in his massive room, but there his playing was often technically correct but lifeless. Beautiful but static. Like a memory of a song rather than the song itself. When he played with his friends from school, his music swelled with passion, soaring to the sky like an eagle and rushing like a flood down the mountainside. 

“I can think of two things.” Luka’s voice broke into her thoughts. “Either she has turned him down because she thinks it's too dangerous, or more likely, she doesn't know.” Kagami straightened abruptly to her knees then crawled over the end of his bed to put her face in his, noses almost touching. “She. Doesn't. _Know!?”_ Her incredulity knew no bounds. “ _How_ can she not KNOW!?” Kagami sat back on her heels and threw up her hands. 

“They say love is blind.'' Despite her outburst, Luka’s expression remained completely unruffled. “To be fair, I don’t think he knows she likes him either.” 

Now she was totally confused. “Explain,” she demanded, then settled against the quilt covered wall to the side of the bed, arms folded, staring at where he was softly strumming his guitar. 

“I think Ladybug drowns everything else out. That desire is so intense that he can't recognize less intense feelings of love.” 

“And how could you know this?” Kagami asked angrily.

“The first time I wore the serpent band, the day Desperada attacked, I saw them. Adrien was telling Ladybug that her attempt to give him the chance to work with Sass was a failure and she should choose another holder. Sass told me that the first time Adrien wore the band he tried to defeat Desperada over 25,900 times,” his voice trailed off. 

Kagami looked at him sharply. “That _is_ dedication. Why so much for someone he's barely met?” 

“I can only guess. But it is not an easy thing to use Second Chance. Even so, it was hard to give up. How much do you miss your miraculous?” Luka’s question was more of a suprise than it should have been.

“Very much,” she murmured sadly.

“Tell me,” he coaxed.

“I was so powerful. It was like my whole body was light. I could move better than any other time in my life. Including when I was akumatized, if the videos are to be believed.” Kagami could feel herself floating on the memory, before falling back to earth. “I squandered the privilege though. I was careless. Even if I had not been outed by that Bourgeois girl, I would not be able to bear the dragon again.'' She regretted that greatly, not just because she had lost that opportunity to be a hero, but because even their short acquaintance had endeared Longg to her. “I wish I could have known Longg better.“

“Do you miss Ladybug too?” Luka’s voice was indistinguishable from her own thoughts. 

“Ohh, yes,” it was almost a moan. “She is so strong and generous. It was a great honor for her to choose me as a comrade once, much less twice. Especially after I had fought her twice and been so impulsive I nearly let Hawk Moth win.” Kagami felt her blush returning, _what is wrong with me tonight!?_

“And Chat?”

Kagami's blush deepened. “Such a fine warrior. So quick. So bold. Just like Adrien.” _Though Adrien’s playful side was more hidden_ , she thought.

“Adrien certainly has your attention.” Luka’s voice broke through her reverie, startling her, _again._ “I think that Adrien does care for you, more even than you know.” Luka’s words were soft and earnest. “I see joy in him when he is with you.” He reached up and brushed his fingers along her jaw and then trailed them down her neck. Kagami felt a shiver run up and down her spine. “And he is certainly not the only one who finds you alluring.” Kagami shifted slightly, looking away and cursing the heat rising in her cheeks. 

“Are you saying I have picked the wrong target?” Her own words to Adrien mocked her.

“No, but I think you are perhaps blinded to your options. Relationships are not a battle to be won. They are a symphony to be played.” 

“I don't think I would be a very good musician,” she scoffed. 

“Why not?” his voice sounded amused. Suddenly, she felt his lips whispering right next to her ear. “You are a v~ery _good_ listener.” When she looked back at him, eyes wide, he had already settled back to his seated position. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he answered her questioning stare, “I like watching you listen.” Kagami’s traitorous flush returned. _How did he take the initiative so easily?_ she thought. This was the third touch he had scored in as many minutes and she felt herself scrambling on the defense.

“And unlike fencing,” Luka’s voice grew soft and warm, as he inclined himself back towards her. “Music is not restricted to a duet.” Softly as a breeze his hand captured and lifted hers to his lips as he bent forward to place a kiss as soft as a butterfly's landing on her knuckles. “Adrien keeps many things buried and needs as many people to sing his heartsong with him as he can get.” Then, as smoothly as a serpent sliding across a rock, he stood and helped her to her feet.

“I think it's about time for rehearsal. Shall we go?” he said as he tucked her arm under his, lacing their fingers together. Then, with a jaunty step, he led her back up the stairs to the band’s practice area. 

Kagami wasn't sure how good a listener she was this week. In fact, she wasn't certain she heard any of the music at all. Flashing eyes and supple fingers filled her vision. 

She was very thoughtful as Tatsu drove her home at the end of the night. Luka had walked her to the smart car then sent himself a quick text with her phone, which he had somehow plucked from her jacket pocket without her noticing, with the promise that she could call at any time. Then, like a striking viper, he kissed her cheek before strolling back to the boat whistling. The kiss was so fast and light she almost doubted it had happened. She kept finding her fingers touching her cheek as if they could press the memory into it.

When she arrived home, she walked slowly in the door, then sat to remove her shoes. She was still sitting minutes later when her mother came to see what was holding her up.

“Did you enjoy your evening Kagami?” Tomoe asked.

“Hi, Okaa-san, it was a good practice. It just gave me a lot to think about,“ Kagami said absently, her thoughts still on the boat.

“It’s good that you have made friends,” her mother's stern voice was full of warmth and regret. “I'm sorry I discouraged it so, at the beginning. I forgot that the bow must be unstrung between battles to keep its spring. Your steps had become dull before we came here. Dutiful but plodding, it's part of why I sought out M. D’Argencourt’s academy. I thought new competitors at a higher level might reignite your enthusiasm.”

Kagami smiled as she stood from where she sat at the entrance and gave her mother her arm to walk back to the sitting room. Adrien was certainly the closest to an equal opponent for her. Though, she still had the edge on him in wins. 

“After that first bout with Adrien you began to enjoy fencing again,” her mother continued. "Although it wasn't until after that game with Marinette you began to _really_ improve," Tomoe said, then ceased speaking.

They had just reached the sitting area when she spoke again. “Why is that, Kagami? In the times she has visited here, Marinette seems to be a normal girl. And on the clumsy side at that. Her gait is so inconsistent. Sometimes she is without balance or smoothness. Sometimes she flows like water.“

“Marinette is a paradox and a puzzle mother. Adrien almost as much. They both confuse me.” By the time they arrived at the table, tea had already been set. Kagami poured for her mother and set the cup where she could reach it then poured for herself. Both were exquisite pieces; handmade in the traditional style by an aunt on her father's side. 

She sipped slowly as she gathered her thoughts. Tomoe motioned her to go on. “Neither is only what they seem. By rights, Marinette should not be as good a fencer as she is.” Nothing in her demeanor on the piste nor what Kagami knew of her other activities would indicate that Marinette would be so fast and accurate a fencer. “Yet she can hold her own with me and Adrien when she stops staring _Kira Kira_ at him like a schoolgirl.” _Weren't they_ both _schoolgirls?_

“A worthy rival then?” her mother seemed puzzled at this assessment. 

“Yes kaa-san she is, though not because she can fence. She is a master on other battlefields, specifically the fashion you find so baffling. She has already done profesional work and won awards. She inspires everyone around her to be better. Sometimes I fear that I have little to offer in comparison.” Kagami felt her shoulders droop. 

“Nonsense,” her mother's voice brooked no argument. “You are a Tsurugi. That is enough by itself. And your wit is as sharp as a sword, and your manners are as pure as a mirror. You should not judge yourself so lightly. His father certainly appreciates your gifts. Surely that counts for much.”

“Not like you would think, Kaa-san,” she continued sadly.

“Why not? I knew Agreste was indulgent, but surely he will not leave his son's future to chance.” Kagami swallowed the laugh that threatened to burst out of her at her mother's histrionic ire. 

“It appears, mother, that neither I nor Marinette are Adrien’s first choice. He has his sights on the Hero of Paris and she would gladly let him catch her,” Kagami was surprised to realize she felt equally envious of both Adrien and Ladybug.

“And you know this how, Kagami?” The question cut like a knife.

“I was told by a friend. He had seen them together during an Akuma attack. I was given details when I went to visit this evening.” Kagami carefully did not sigh in relief as her mother accepted this slightly reordered series of events. 

“Tell me about this ‘friend’,” Tomoe demanded. 

Kagami hoped her heartbeat would not give her away. "He is Sōhō Takun to Adrien's Musashi. I have never seen anyone move so quickly yet without threat." And the number of times he had gotten past _her_ guard tonight would _not_ be mentioned. "Ladybug judged him worthy to bear a Miraculous and he sees with _compassionate eyes.”_

“He sounds most impressive. You favor him as well, then?” Kagami’s heart nearly stopped at her mother’s frank inquiry. She had tried so hard to hide… what? What had she been hiding? The feel of Luka’s breath on her cheek and the soft touch of his very dexterous hands flashed through her brain and her heart thudded into motion again, this time at a gallop.

“I… I don’t know, kaa-san. It’s not something I had considered before.” She was considering it _now_ , oh was she considering it.

“Well you _should_ think on it,” Tomoe directed as she finished her tea. “You have said that Adrien is chasing not two but three hares. Perhaps a rival will help him sharpen his focus.” With that, Tomoe stood and made her way toward her room. 

Kagami sat until her tea grew cold, unable to quiet the storm of faces whirling through her brain. She finally gave up on chasing her scattered thoughts, downed the lukewarm dregs of her tea in one determined gulp and retired to her own room. 

She tossed her phone on the bed and turned away sharply before stripping out of her clothes and shrugging into the yukata she wore to sleep. She took a centering breath then turned back around. 

Her phone mocked her from its nest in the comforter. 

_Don’t hesitate._

Kagami snached up the phone and swiftly dialed only the second boy in her contact list.

* * *

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit._

Luka _knew_ he was in trouble and he was not sure he could get out. 

His conversation with Kagami had not gone like he had anticipated. Teasing her had been fun and kept her enough off balance that he felt she had spoken truths that she hadn't realized she knew. He certainly had. It was just a little thing. A passing memory. But when he looked at it close, it opened big enough to swallow the whole world. 

One of the things he had learned in the past weeks was that Sass physically could not speak the name of a living miraculous holder unless Luka already knew the name. It was almost cute, the burst of bubbles that poured from his mouth when he demonstrated the restriction. The bubbles were pink and sparkly no less. 

But Sass could talk about them sideways, and he had said that Adrien had used the bracelet twice. After his first time as a hero, Luka had paid much more attention to videos posted to the Ladyblog and other hero news streams. Repeated viewings of the times he had been called on to help meant he was 100% certain that the only time someone other than himself had used the Serpent was when Chat Noir took it from him during the battle with Miracle Queen. 

He was able to hold it together all the way through rehearsal. It helped that Kagami was watching him the way she usually listened to the music. Answering her gaze as it deserved required his whole attention and he couldn't help wondering if the way she stared at his hands meant she was also imagining them coaxing sounds from a _different_ instrument. But once rehearsal was over and he had handed her into her car, the gear was stowed and everyone had gone home. His worry crashed through his brain like cymbals.

He pulled out his phone and thumbed the number that his calls from Ladybug came in on. A few tense rings later, he was sent to voicemail. In his steadiest, most nonchalant voice he asked, ”Ladybug, given the nature of Second Chance, there are things I might discover, secrets, identities. Do you want me to tell you if I figure out an identity?” He clicked off then settled back with his guitar to play _Talking in Your Sleep_ while he waited. 

He was well into _The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret_ when the call came back. He let Queen's classic riff cycle twice (dun dun dun du-du dun dun) before he picked up.

“What did you see?” Ladybug blurted without preamble. “Did Chat make a mistake? Did _I_ make a mistake? Oh my gosh! I made a mistake didn’t I!? Hawk Moth is going to know who I am and then Chat is going to get akumatized and…”

“Ladybug, stop!” Luka broke in, bringing the flow of words to a halt. “Now breathe. In for seven, now hold, now out. Now in again. In. Hold. Out.” Luka could hear Ladybug following with the breathing exercise he had first learned to help Juleka with her panic attacks.

As he heard her breathing stabilize, Luka spoke soothingly to the distressed heroine. “It’s ok Ladybug, no one has revealed anything. I just know that Second Chance means I can learn things and want to know how you want me to handle them if I did.” He could almost feel the breeze from her sigh of relief over the phone. 

“Luka,” she said with forced calm, “right now the only people I don’t know are Chat, Hawk Moth and Mayura, and I c- _can’t_ know who Chat is. It’s the only way to keep him safe.” Longing smothered her words. “You can't tell me if you find him.” She paused, and he waited for her to speak again. When her voice next came, it was almost too soft to hear. “If you do find him, keep him safe. I’m trusting you to keep him safe.” Her voice broke on the last word. 

“I will Ladybug,” he said. “I will.” 

“Thank you, Luka.” Her voice was thick with emotion. She hung up before he could say ‘you’re welcome’. Whatever feelings she had for her partner, romantic or otherwise, were obviously deep. Luka stared at his phone for a long few minutes before dialing one more number for the night.

Adrien picked up after the fourth ring. “Luka,” came his happy voice, which fell as he continued. “I'm so sorry I couldn't make the rehearsal tonight.” 

“Happens,” Luka replied. “Kagami was here though and had a great time. Everyone was really surprised, usually she doesn't come without _you_.” 

“I'm glad she could make it, even if I couldn't. She needs to be out with friends more,” Adrien said fervently.  
“Well, you were missed too, Sunshine,” Luka said. “And not just for the keyboard. I finished painting that ‘Princess Usagi, Tuxedo Mask’ garage kit in Ladybug and Chat Noir’s colors and you and maybe Alya are the only really appreciative audience.” 

“Really!” he squealed. “You finished!” Adrien's excitement was almost palpable. 

“Yes, really. And no I'm not going to sell it to you. This one's mine.” Luka was adamant. Several of his earlier Ladybug paint jobs had _already_ been wheedled out of him by Adrien and had probably ended up in the shrine Kagami had described. “And don’t bother pouting. It doesn't work if the target can’t see you.” Luka imagined the “awe shucks” expression that would have accompanied Adrien’s “can't blame me for trying,” as he racked his brain for a way to confirm that Adrien was Chat Noir without revealing that _he_ knew the secret. 

They bantered for a moment as Luka racked his brain for some subtle test. Fortuitously, they were interrupted by the squeal of an akuma alert. Luka pulled the phone from his ear and glanced at the screen, thanking whatever god of starcrossed lovers that had blessed him with this chance. The akuma was on the south bank of the Seine not too far from the Liberty. There were things he needed to see to confirm his suspicions, and it looked like he was going to have the opportunity. Silencing the alarm, he put the phone back to his ear. Before he could make his own excuses Adrien said, “Sorry, I’ve got to go. Nathalie is calling me.” 

Luka raised a silent eyebrow at this and tried to remove any hint of suspicion from his voice. “That's fine Adrien. I probably ought to make sure everything is secure here, too.” After he hung up, Luka tapped the phone against his lip twice, then tossed it on the bed and shrugged out of his hoodie and jacket and slipped off his jeans before placing the bracelet on his wrist. “Sass,” he said as the kwami materialized, “I have some things I need to see. Scales slither.”

As the light flashed aqua around him, he tried to decide how best to see the answers to his questions. First, he slipped on his jeans, grateful that he preferred his loose ones and then shrugged back into his hoodie and grabbed his phone. Fortunately, there was a chill in the air so he didn't look too awkward putting the hood up. Juleka and Rose were sitting with Anarka at the bow drinking tea and cocoa and munching on pastries. He slipped up onto the poop deck and crouched by the ping pong table. 

It was only a couple of minutes before he saw Chat Noir bounding across the roofs of Paris headed toward the location of the Akuma. Almost immediately after, Ladybug came as well, from close to the same direction. He gave them a minute before he slipped over the stern and launched himself at the nearest bridge. After clambering over the side, he ran to scale the nearest roof, then hurried after the other heroes, eyes on the akuma tracker on his phone and ears open for the sound of combat. As he heard the clash of violence, he slowed to a stop keeping himself hidden in the doorway of a building. He eased his camera lens around the corner to watch Ladybug and Chat Noir bounding around what looked like an overgrown porcelain doll. Fortunately, there seemed to be no sentimonster this time. 

Luka tried to watch the action through his phone for a full minute before giving up on the way too small screen. He couldn't see the detail that he needed to find the answer he was looking for. Cautiously, he poked his head around the wall. Fortunately, this akuma seemed content to stay in one place, so he wasn't going to have to move, he hoped. But for now, he could watch closer.

The two premier Heroes of Paris had moved as one since very early in their career; those moments in which they were out of sync were notable and usually a sign of some other external issue. Even when Chat was struck by some akuma effect that turned him against his Lady, they moved together. 

Luka strained his vision to the utmost and, in the subtle gestures they traded back and forth, he found that harmony that had been missing during the fencing match on Thursday.

Suddenly, the two bodies trading blows and quips with the unfortunate transformed denizen of Paris belonged not to the Heroes of Paris but to a gentle laughing boy with too much fame and far too few friends and to the dazzling girl who had picked up Luka’s heart and carried it home to stuff in her notions box.

Luka ducked back into the doorway and sat against the side, head leaned back to stare towards the sky. _Shit. No wonder they are so in sync,_ he thought. _And neither one knows who the other is!_

Adrien was in love with Ladybug like a flower was in love with the sun. Marinette had chased Adrien like Orion eternally pursuing the Pleiades across the sky but never able to reach them. If each knew who the other was, then nothing could have pried them apart. They would have come together like matter and antimatter, and heaven help the poor souls in the blast radius. 

Luka was amazed that he hadn't noticed how much they were struggling before. He had been watching the stress layer up under Marinette's smile for weeks like tracks on a demo tape. He thought she had been coming to see him to soothe a broken heart. Finding solace in his music and the far-too-infrequent long hug when she would curl up in his lap and just breathe after a meditation lesson.

However, it hadn't been a heartbroken teen on the rebound, but the isolated guardian of the miraculous coming to him for relief. Coming to _him_ because she had lost the support of her best friends through Queen Bee's betrayal and she didn't know where to find her partner. Luka had been waiting for Marinette to move on to him from Adrien, but Ladybug had gotten stuck on the playful kitty that was always by her side and found herself trapped in the memories of the nightmare future she had shared with him along with Sass’ bracelet. 

And Adrien, how often had he looked at Marinette and not seen the powerful hero, the focus of his passion, but the gentle friend whose kindness comforted his soul; unaware that the one he loved most, Ladybug, was the “good friend” who had stepped aside so he could be with Kagami, the “girl he loved.” The girl he was with, Luka suspected, because he heard in Kagami the echo of the one who carried his heart. A heart Ladybug kept tossing back in his face because she was waiting for a different _him,_ to give a different _her,_ a different heart. _Mon dieu, this is such a mess. What kind of madman am I that I want a part of it?_ Luka thought, railing against his own growing feelings for the brave souls beneath the masks who kept interposing their cracked and bleeding hearts between Paris and destruction. 

He was going to have to record a new ringtone for Marinette. Which was good, Juleka would stop teasing him about using the opening to _Jessie's Girl._ Maybe _._

The stream of ladybugs flowing across the sky and down the street signaled the rescue of Hawk Moth’s latest victim. He watched Ladybug and Chat Noir hurry back to their separate homes, then knocked his head against the brick lightly in frustration, before making his own way home.

After sneaking back to his room past the still going midnight snack in the bow, he collapsed on his bunk and let the transformation drop. 

“Sass,” he whined, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I. am. so. screwed.” The kwami settled on Lukas chest and he reached a hand down to gently rub the serpent's hood. “But I know what I want now.” And damn him for a fool because what he wanted was even more amazing than he had ever imagined. Luka had stood back to let Marinette try with Adrien in the hope that she would be happy with her dream or come to him with a free heart. He had been convinced that to get what he wanted, all he had to do was wait, but now that he was being honest with himself he could admit that what he wanted was way beyond a smile and a hug.

But whatever Marinette's head told her, her heart was permanently bound up in a stray cat in black leather. And there was no shadow of a doubt in Luka’s mind that if he wooed her and won her, the _moment_ she discovered he had done so _knowing_ her Kitty was her crush, whatever Luka had would be gone. 

"Unfortunately,” he sighed, “You can't always get what you want.” 

Lukas' eyes went wide as he heard Sass respond, “But if you try sometime.” 

He grinned as they sang the last line together. “You find, you get what you need!” 

Luka glanced to where the kwami waited patiently for him to go on. “You knew who they were, and you wanted me to find out, didn't you?” Luka asked, his tone only mildly accusatory. Sass cocked his head in acknowledgement. “I want Marinette. Marinette is Ladybug. Ladybug comes with Chat. Chat is Adrien.”

And Adrien, for all the strength of his heart, did not have the emotional resources to help bear his Lady's burdens by himself. Though he would break himself to pieces trying.

Chat Noir would always be ready to throw himself between Ladybug and danger, to have her back in any situation. But Luka recognized in Adrien's often too bright cheerfulness, over-generous gifts and too small personal space, someone desperate for human contact and approval; in his rare bitter comments and searching eyes, an inmate of a cold and lonely house that had long since ceased to be a home, haunted by a shambling corpse that may have at one time been his father. 

Adrien was mining out the deposits of good memories left by his mother, supplemented by school, dates with Kagami and the jam sessions with Kitty Section. For a normal boy, that might have been enough. But for a superhero?! If Ladybug’s laments and the bags under Adrien’s eyes were to be believed, he was drawing down his emotional savings faster then they could be replenished. And how could you not _love_ someone who gave of themself so purely and deeply out of so dry a well? 

Given all the things pushing down on them, in and out of costume, Marinette and Adrien would need all the love he could give and then some to not crumble under the load. Luka stared at the magic bracelet on his wrist. In its true form, it was Ouroborus, the serpent that encircled the world holding all things together as chaos raged against its scales.

“I can’t come between them, Sass. Even if I could, it would be wrong. But everything I learn makes me love them more.” And it was both of them now, not just her. He felt Sass slither down to wrap like a collar around his neck.

“This is going to be hard.” He had seen how hard. One of the reasons they were in Paris and not London was the meltdown of the throuple Anarka had been in when he was ten. "But if I want them to be happy and safe, I'm going to have to actually get off my ass and work for it. And if I want me to be happy, I’m going to have to find a way to make myself a part of their happiness.” Sass’ approving hiss was all the answer he needed. 

Promising himself he would never let them down and knowing he was well and truly stuck, Luka sat up, grabbed his guitar and launched into the opening solo of _Hotel California._

He was just hitting the bridge into the first chorus when the default ringtone called out from his phone. Luka was surprised, he had thought it would be a couple of days at least before Kagami called him, and he hadn't yet decided what song he would record for her. 

“Couffaine,” he answered, trying to make his voice as welcoming as possible. 

“Luka? This is Kagami. I was wondering if you would be willing to talk some more?”

He smiled. It was always easier to get by with a little help from your friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview  
> Luka knew he would have to be careful. Marinette and Adrien or more properly Ladybug and Chat Noir needed each other like they needed air. But Ladybug was adamant that she couldn't let herself fall in love with either of them. Adrien was thoroughly enamored with Ladybug but was trying to move on to respect her wishes. He was also obviously smitten with Marinette and just as much in denial as she was. Kagami was, as best as he could tell, attracted to both but in denial about Mari. If he was lucky and he was reading the blushes right, she found him intriguing too. 
> 
> Now he was going to try and shepherd all four of them into some kind of a relationship without revealing their secret identities. 
> 
> He is so screwed.
> 
> My great gratitude to my Betas [SoloRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloRaven/profile) and [wellsaltedlady](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellsaltedlady/pseuds/wellsaltedlady)  
> and all the rest of the Fabulous people at the [Miraculous Fanworks Discord, if you write, or read, or draw come play with us.](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)


	4. Interlude. “Here I Go Again”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sass has been teaching Luka about how to know what he needs for a good life and love.  
> The best way to learn is teach someone else. 
> 
> Lets see how prepared his students will be for class.
> 
> A brief interlude to see Mari and Adrien's side of things in chapter 3. These scenes each happen right before Luka calls them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little something to tide my readers over.  
> Some work on other parts of My WiP bin needs to happen, and the next full chapter is fighting me.  
> In the meantime I challenge anyone who wants, to find all the little musical references scattered through the chapters.

Marinette breathed.

Inhale 

Hold 

Exhale

Hold

Inhale

Just like she had learned from M Bustier in the weekly emotional management sessions that had been started at all the schools in Paris since Hawk Moth began turning everyone's feelings into a weapon against themselves.

She was grateful for them though she had actually found that Luka was a better teacher for learning to let her reactions flow past and not get caught up in them. 

Luka was such a good friend to let her come by and sit and practice with him. She knew he wanted more. She could see it in the way his eyes followed her and felt it in the comforting strength of his arms as he held her on the days when she just couldn't any longer and the only thing that held her together was his quiet acceptance as she wept on his chest. Wept for the loss of her first love to the girl she called friend. Who matched him so well and needed him so much. Wept that she still couldn't let him go even after all these months. She couldn't stop herself from aching on the days when he would join them at the park stealing a few precious moments from his schedule to enjoy drinks and pastries, and a quiet moment to just  _ be _ . She hated herself that she couldn't make herself stand up and leave. 

They never sat the same way twice, sometimes Adrien was in the middle sometimes she was, sometimes Kagami but they were always pressed shoulder to shoulder. Not quite looking at each other's eyes. Marinette felt guilty for inserting herself into the short time they had together free from the demands of their parents. She hated  _ not watching  _ Kagami kiss Adrien and wishing it was her.

She was sure it made them uncomfortable, that if she wasn't there they would spend the time cuddling and making out, but they never asked her to leave. 

Inhale 

Hold 

Exhale

Hold

Inhale

She heard her phone ring from down on her desk where she'd left it before climbing up to the roof to start her evening meditation session. 

Her thoughts turned to her partner, her silly kitty, her best friend. She hated that she couldn't let herself love him either, that there were times her throat would clench shut as a flash of white with blue replaced his usual black and green. Hated that she missed him calling her  _ his  _ Lady. Hated that he now had a girl he was kind of sort of dating, but not quite sure they were boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Hated the look of hopeful longing he would sometimes still give her and the way she wanted to wrap herself around him and drown him in kisses when he did. 

And she  _ hated  _ Hawk Moth. Hated the prancing violet prick who's desperate need for power meant that she could not tell her other half how much she ached for the touch of his hand, the feel of his lips. That she couldn't let go of the awkward comfort offered by the presence of the kind golden haired boy she had loved since he offered friendship and an umbrella after she had treated him so abominably. That she couldn't find the strength to leave him alone with his alluring and passionate fencing partner. That she couldn't let herself accept the patient offer of the musician who heard the music of her heart, and whose solid presence offered refuge from all the hurts and burdens of being the Guardian and Ladybug and Marinette. Giving whatever she needed and asking nothing in return. 

Marinette let the reminicess flow over her. Feeling her heart unclench as she accepted each emotion and letting it exist without judgment. Owning her love and her loss and her hate and letting them go.

Inhale 

Hold 

Exhale

Hold

Inhale

Marinette opened her eyes. Stood and stretched, and then went down into her room to check the messages on her phone. 

* * *

Adrien dragged into his room from the fitting and shoot for the fall line, dropped his bag and fell face first into his bed. 

“Well,” said Plagg. “I'm glad I don't have to do your job. I don't think there’s enough cheese in the world for me to put up with that.” 

“They're not paying me enough either,” Adrien mumbled into the covers before levering himself up from the mattress to reach back for his phone. He sat up long enough to extract his feet from his favorite high top canvas sneakers and then flopped back down spreadeagled. He fished above his head for a pillow while he thumbed open his calendar, and grimaced. Kitty Section was rehearsing tonight, but it was already passed eight and even if he had the energy to play he would barely arrive in time to start packing up. And he wouldn't have time to get Kagami anyway. 

Things had become much easier since they had become semi oficial almost three months ago. His father was slightly more lenient about letting him out as long as they were together, in public and didn't get caught being too familiar. Kagami’s mother seemed to have decided that spending time with him was good for both business and Kagami’s fencing. 

He  _ wished  _ she had been able to come to the shoot but she was busy training for a kendo tournament as well as the next regional fencing meet and just didn't have the time for a fourteen hour day just sitting around watching him look pretty. Seeing as Lila was there the day had been particularly long. 

Fortunately Tante Madoka and the rest of her staff knew about his relationship with Kagami and that provided a bit of a buffer. Adrien dropped his arm across his eyes. It was just too damn bright in here. 

“Plagg, he called could you turn down the lights please?”

“What am I, your errand boy?” the imp hollard back. “No,” Adrien replied tieredly. “But it would be a nice thing to do for a friend, and you can have a romantic dinner under the moonlight.”

“Well I suppose,” Plagg, mused. “But, I may need to get another wheel. Make this a double date.” Adrien sighed as the lights dimmed and the tightness across his temples eased. He just felt so very tired. The last three months had seen a ramping up of Hawk Moth’s attacks and he had learned how to do something new that combined them with a sentimonster so they got huge opponents like Reflekdoll but without the ability to separate them from the person whose emotions had been twisted to give them from. Their fights with the akumas frequently went over an hour at this point. Adding that to his already overstuffed schedule and Adrien felt like the old gym socks Plagg had squirreled away at the back of one of the cabinets for a nest.

The one bright spot was getting away with Kagami. Whether it was sneaking off to rehearsal, or the challenge she brought to fencing as he tried desperately to improve his combat instincts for the inevitable akuma, or just sitting with her and Marinette at the park by the bakery if practice let out early. He was so lucky they were such good friends. The time they had escaped the Bourgeoisie's anniversary had been one of the best experiences of his life, and he felt so at peace when they could just sit and hold hands and sample Tom and Sabine’s pastries from the Bakery. 

Adrien knew he was far luckier than he deserved. Kagami really liked him and he really liked her. She was just so full of life and energy and mischief. He loved the little smile he could almost see through her fencing mask when she knew she was going to score on him, and the way she watched him when he was playing with the band. Like he and his music was the only thing in existence. After that first awkward attempt he had found he really liked kissing her too. Though they had only gone farther than briefly pressing their lips together a couple of times, and one of those was to distract her from asking questions that might have led back to him being Chat Noir.

The surveillance they were typically under made it unlikely they would get opportunities for anything beyond some brief snogging, despite Anarka’s offer of her stateroom if they “needed a little privacy.” He wasn't quite sure she was serious until he had confirmed it with Luka, who added that the condoms and lube were in the  _ left _ hand side table. He still wasn't sure what the casualness with which the other boy made this revelation ment and there was  _ no way _ he was going to ask. At least not when there was the remotest possibility anyone else could hear. Minders aside they were a  _ looooong _ way from needing such accommodation. He hadn't even said “I love you “ yet. Because as much as he liked kissing Kagami whenever he did it made it that much harder to just  _ be  _ around Ladybug. Kissing Kagami had made it that much easier to imagine kissing his Lady. 

Hawkmoth would usually wait a couple of days between akuma, and he would be fine. They would fence or go to the park with Mari or rehearsal or have some sort of business function they had to be at together, and he would tell himself how lucky he was and that this fierce Japanese beauty who could kick his ass on the piste, and make him like it, would be the one for him. 

Then there would be an alert and he would head out and there she would be. His other goddess in a red suit. So strong and brave and protective... and hurting. He knew she was hurting. Missing Fu, missing their friends who had wielded other miraculous, missing sleep just like he was. She cared so much she glowed like the sun and whenever she would brush against him it felt like fire in his veins and all those feelings he had spent the last three days stuffing into a little box marked “torches: for recycling” would roar back like they had never left.

He knew he needed to move on. She had a guy she liked, and he had at least a sort of girlfriend. He tried to not flirt with Ladybug ever since she had become guardian, as it only seemed to upset her, but he would still slip sometimes. He could tell it made her sad, and he hated making her sad. If he was a better friend he would be able to hold her close and take all her hurt away without constantly wondering what it would feel like skin to skin. Adrien's self deprecating monologue continued until he drifted off to sleep. 

Adrien clawed himself awake to the sound of his ringtone. The last images of his dream fading like smoke. His mind clutched frantically at flashes of a woman in a tight red suit swaying toward him. Staring into her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck to bring his lips down to hers in a kiss that left his lips tingling and his jeans uncomfortably tight. _What color were her eyes!?_ he thought, frantically. His phone buzzed a third time before his brain caught up with his ears and he looked at the screen. Adrien smiled to see it was his good friend Luka. They must have missed him at rehearsal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was prompted by a challenge that was held during a party in honor of the Mod team at the [Miraculous Fanworks Discord, We were to write an fluff scene and angst scene in 15 minutes (each). Mari's portion of this is how I started my Angst. My beta for this was missmatch.](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks)


	5. Easier Said Than Done (Gimme All Your Lovin')

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kagami! I was hoping you would call.” Did he sound like a used car salesman to her too. “I didn't expect it would be so soon. Have you decided already that Adrien is that bad a kisser?” He kept his voice light and playful despite the seriousness of his purpose. He didn’t know if what he was going to propose was a good idea but it was the idea he had and sometimes all you could do was play and hope the next part came when you needed it to. 
> 
> Luka sees if he can in list some back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took **_THREE. WHOLE. MONTHS._**
> 
> Including a month after a most generous alpha read and brainstorming session with [Talik_Sanis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talik_Sanis), without which I would have probably spent more even more time wandering in the wilderness before finishing this.
> 
> Talik, You are a gentleman and a scholar.
> 
> To my readers who had to wait. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience. I sincerely hope it was worth it.

Luka wasn’t sure if he should be elated that Kagami was calling him back so soon or terrified that he’d had no time to think or plan before she called. It wasn't like he could stand in there in his super suit and replay the conversation over until he got it right. Could he?

He glanced at Sass, who too often seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. The slight shake of the kwami’s head told him that, no, he was going to have to do this without rehearsal, or net.

Swiftly he shut the cabin door to signal that he was busy and did not want to be disturbed. It was a privilege he exercised only rarely. A hazard of sharing a room with his sister since she was three.

“Kagami! I was hoping you would call.” _Did he sound like a used car salesman to her too?_ “I didn't expect it would be so soon. Have you decided already that Adrien is that bad a kisser?” He kept his tone light and playful despite the seriousness of his purpose. He didn’t know if what he was going to propose was a good idea but it was the idea he had. Sometimes all you could do was play and hope the next part came when you needed it to. 

“No. But I have not had anyone to compare him to. You can't judge skill until you have faced at least two opponents.” She sounded more serious than playful. 

Luka wasn’t sure what that meant. 

“So does that mean you're looking for a new sparring partner?” He tried to not sound like he desperately needed to speak with her. He was not sure how well he succeeded. 

“Mother has reminded me that I am not the only one that needs to prove themselves in this relationship. And that Adrien could perhaps do with a little competition.”

“Funny, my mother always told me that relationships were a cooperative rather than competitive sport.” _Though she could have done better to live her own advice._ _Oh well, in for a penny._

“Have you ever been to the Pantheon?” He barely waited for her murmured negative. “Why don't we meet there tomorrow afternoon and... talk.”

“Yes, I believe I am in need of a good conversation.” From the change in the echoes he guessed she had taken the phone from her ear to check her calendar.

“Is 2 o’clock acceptable?” she asked, by the lack of feed back returning the phone to her ear rather than going to speaker phone. “Do I need special attire?”

“Two is fine and you don't need to be fancy. Just come as you are.” The cavernous sound of her room vanished as she hung up. Luka huffed like he had just finished playing all 13 minutes of the 1986 New Haven performance of _Eruption._ Taking a deep breath he threw his head back, the fist holding his phone pressed to his forehead.

Step one of his plan to get the woman he loved together with the man she loved, and if he was really lucky with himself and maybe a plus one, was _done_. 

Now he just had to figure out step two.

“Sass,” he moaned as he flopped onto his bed. “I am not ready, or qualified, for this!”

“Which this?” Luka felt the tiny serpent coil onto the middle of his chest. The question weighed more than he did. “Taking care of superheroes.” He sighed as he stretched to the edges of his tiny bunk. “I was doing... ok with a shy sister, scatterbrained mother and clumsy sometimes almost maybe girlfriend. Now, I've found out that I've only caught one movement of the whole symphony, and that she's carrying the whole city on her shoulders, not just the third year of collège.” 

Based on what he had seen and heard, Luka was absolutely certain that no one else knew that Marinette was Ladybug. Not her parents, not Alya, _not Chat Noir_. A thought so insane that he could feel his brain cramp just thinking it. Especially now that he knew who Chat was under the smirk. 

Not that he “knew,” really. He just suspected as strongly as he supposed the sun would rise in the east come the morning. It was probably better that things stay that way too. As long as he didn't ‘know’ he couldn't confirm if Hawk Moth ever akumatized him again. Something that was an unfortunately common experience. Poor Mr. Ramier being the prime example, (seventy six and counting), but the young lady he was hoping to recruit to help him in this mad scheme had suffered as well.

Luka rolled over and hid his head under his pillow. After a moment, he decided that that was still an insufficient expression of how outrageous he found the situation and started pounding on the back of his head through it. “I am absolutely out of my mind,” he complained into his mattress after a handful of thumps. Marinette and Adrien had somehow managed to get themselves into a love triangle, ( _love square?!?_ ) with _themselves_ , as Ladybug and Chat Noir. Which they had kept up for the better part of a _year_ . And he _wanted_ to be part of it. 

“I’m going to need help.” _Professional help,_ his inner Juleka mocked him, _like adding_ two _third wheels is going to make this sooo much better_. 

Luka emerged from beneath the bedding and flopped onto his back. “Is this really something we can make work? Or am I just making up excuses to be able to stay with Marinette?” 

Sass’ bland expression offered no answers. 

Luka frowned, it was always frustrating when the small god made him think first before answering the question. 

“I know Marinette needs help, and not just in costume, and not just a shoulder to cry on.” He made the air quotes at his own vagueness. “I have no idea what she really needs or wants, but I sure as hell don't know what Adrien needs. Besides getting his dad a personality transplant.” 

And Adrien needed a lot more than he had thought. Luka was still trying to process what it must mean for him to have spent almost two solid months looping, and failing, with Second Chance and not come out the other end a whimpering ball. How bleak was the rest of his life that the crushing weight of almost 30 thousand failures barely registered?

Because he had jumped _right_ back in as Chat without _any_ hesitation. Ladybug’s trust in Luka in granting him the Serpent Miraculous that first time was a tinny honky tonk piano next to Adrien's full symphony orchestra of trust in passing him the burden of keeping his Lady safe after seeing so many failures as Aspik.

“Oh Sass,” he groaned. “Why do I think I should be the one to help hold them together? I’m probably just as broken.” It wasn't a truth he had been willing to admit to himself before, but if he was determined to choose this path, he could no longer afford comforting illusions.

One of the most important things he had learned from Sass was that it didn't matter so much what he wanted, but he needed to own that wanting. What he did with it was another question, but if he hid it from himself he would never come out right.

In the past he had hidden his passivity as magnanimity, covered fear of his own capacity for violence in Zen acceptance, and buried discomfort with his own sexual desire in a studied nonchalance. 

“Broken people are the only kind of people that there has ever been. They still must build the future and bind up the world's wounds," Sass said gently. “The question my young friend, is are you broken like a pot or broken like a seed. The one becomes useless for anything but to be ground up to make clay for new pots. The other can bring forth generations of new crops and bread as well.”

“Do I get to choose?” Luka's voice sounded small and very young in his own ears. 

“Always, but it is best to choose once and commit than vacillate and get crushed like a grape in the press.” 

Luka considered this ominous pronouncement. Was he ready to commit? This wasn't going steady or finding a comfortable armful for the occasional Friday night. If he was going to choose to love Ladybug like she needed to be loved, to be her refuge when the fight against the darkness grew too hard, he would have to be all in. It meant he was going to have to be there for her when she needed him, with no expectation of the same. To watch her throw herself into danger when every instinct screamed to wrap her up in cotton and steel. To know, even if she did not, that her heart beat in the chest of another man, and to love him too as if he were Luka’s own soul. To give up on dreams that took him away from taking care of her, them. And hadn't he just decided he was done doing that for Juleka?

 _You’re not hoping to_ kiss _Juleka._ This time it was Rose’s voice that spoke truth to his embarrassment _. Yeah “kiss”._ And there was Juleka to put in her two cents.

There was no way to be ignorant of sex in Anarka’s house. His mom had always been open about the subject. Very open. Like, ‘Mom please close your door before you start doing that’, kind of open. Luka was pretty sure _most_ girls did _not_ have a party to celebrate their first period, and if they did he _doubted_ they received a vibrator to go with their first pads and tampons. 

Despite this, or maybe because of it, Luka had not been very interested in that aspect of relationships. An attitude he now recognized was driven more by fear than indifference. Fear that he would let himself get hauled along by his hormones to chase whoever crossed his path. 

He had begun to let himself acknowledge that part of himself just a bit this evening with Kagami. His fingers still tingled from where he had brushed her cheek. What would it be like to let the beast in the bottom of his soul all the way to the surface and see with its eyes. What would he see when he looked at Kagami now? At Marinette? At Adrien? 

“We are all so young. Making this work will need a miracle.” Luka, protested to himself. The legal right to consent does not confer wisdom or maturity. Developing the charity and patience needed to build a lasting partnership took time. Time that none of them had. A lifetime of commitment was a lot to ask of a grown adult, he was barely into his last year of Lycée. 

But Adrien and Marinette were younger, and they had already chosen to give their all. 

They needed someone to be there for them _now,_ not in a year or two or ten, when he felt ‘ready.’ Sass' next words echoed his own thoughts. “And what are a couple of years against four score and ten. Against the chance that they may not be here tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. The word echoed. This close to midnight it was not even a day away. And yet he couldn't stop thinking about tomorrow. The devastation perpetrated by Robostus while Ladybug and Chat Noir had had to go to New York and thwart Hawk Moth there had shown that the power of her Miraculous ladybugs was not infinite. It was a sobering wake up call to the citizenry that had grown complacent in the surety that ‘Ladybug will fix it.’ 

It was a blessing that no one could know all the particulars of the damage caused by Hawk Moth’s depredations. Marinette would blame herself for every skinned knee and bent flower left unmended. Luka felt a cold wind blowing from the future for the day when what was left ‘unmended’ included their reckless and protective Kitty. Or when she herself lay mangled in the field, unable to set the world right again.

Tortured cords squealed through his mind in protest of that thought but he turned to face it anyway. They all had been lucky. But that luck would run out someday, hopefully not soon, and someone would be left to cry in the cold November rain at a lonesome gravesite.

One thing was certain he couldn't do this by himself. Nino and Alya would help, even if they never knew why their best friends were always under such strain. But they would be there for Adrien and Marinette, not really for him.

He hoped the spark he’d felt tonight ment that Kagami could be the partner he needed. That maybe she would want to be there for him and let him be there for her. She was always pushing so hard, reaching for new heights of skill and glory, could he be a candle to feed her flame? The calm eye in the midst of her storm? So that maybe together they could make all their dreams come true. 

They met on the south side of the famous mausoleum. 

Luka had left early to catch the metro and walk and amazingly the transportation gods were with him, giving him plenty of time to fret. His hand kept wandering to the miraculous he had wrapped in embroidery floss to disguise it from anyone who might recognize it on his wrist. 

He had loved Marinette almost from their first meeting. It was something that had grown quietly with every glimpse of her wild creativity, her gentle optimism, her heart that gave so freely, her trust as she let him see her nervousness and anxiety and freak outs. He would gladly spend lifetimes holding her hand, listening to her ramble, watching her nurture their children.

After what he had seen and realized last night, when he had finally recognized the love of his life in Ladybug’s spots and his friend under the mask of Chat Noir, he wanted to gather Adrien into his arms and hold that wonderful, kind, brilliant boy, who walked around on a shattered heart with unwavering grace and style and honest joy, until he felt safe enough to open the windows of his soul and pour out his grief like a flood from the windows of heaven.

Kagami he wanted to fuck. 

Hard and fast and wild, like a hurricane. 

He wanted to feel lightning under his hands, waves of passion rolling like thunder. Let the storm break loose until they lay spent and panting on the deck boards. He wanted to play her body like an instrument until he knew every moan and hiss and scream he could coax from her throat. Burn the memory of every corded muscle and every dimple in her skin into his own.

It was the first time he could remember his body hungering for another’s, that he didn't try to wish it away. The first time he had _wanted_ to look into someone's eyes and see that hunger reflected back.

He hoped none of this showed on his face. 

He wondered what wants would be revealed to him next time he saw Marinette.

He was drumming the _Mission: Impossible_ theme into his thigh as he paced when Kagami’s car drove up and disgorged her onto the pavement.

He hurried over and offered an arm to escort her into the building, which she took lightly. They walked in companionable silence into the building, the gossamer weight of her fingers on the inside of his elbow catching fire in his blood. 

After a few moments examining the statues and frescoes they drifted two a quiet corner. “I assume you chose to meet me here for a reason.” she asked.

“It seemed like a good place to talk about, life and love… and heroes.” He said lightly. A _nd you and I are both too respectful to make a scene in a monument to the honored dead._

_I hope._

Kagami’s eye’s narrowed at this last pronouncement. Quickly, before she could voice a question he asked his own. “Have you ever noticed anything… odd. About Adrien. Or Marinette?”

“I am probably the last person in Paris, to ask about the oddness of others. But I am often confused by how quickly Marinette can go from a masters grace to a toddlers balance. And the better I know Adrien the more I’m sure that the face he shows the world is a porcelain mask.” Kagami’s eyes fell to the floor.

“I thought I could break through it after Adrien had chosen to be with me. But there was always a part of him that was withdrawn, absent.” Her gaze met his again. “I thought after getting to know his father better that it was just fear of letting down his guard. Hesitant to commit fully so he would not be off balance when he failed to connect, because his partner had abandoned him.” The storm clouds that gathered in her eyes gave silent testament to her opinion of _that_ sort of behavior. 

“Mother may be a demanding sensei, but she is _present_ . I know she cares for me. No matter how high a standard she sets, it’s to push me to be my best, for my own sake as much as hers. She wants me to be tough, prepared to face the things she thinks she wasn't ready for, I think.” Her tone faded from fierce to thoughtful, then turned fierce again. “Gabriel’s demands are all about _his_ image, not Adrien’s. Adrien is always on pins and needles at that house. And it keeps getting worse.”

Luka could imagine. While Hawk Moths attacks had not gotten any more frequent, they had become more vicious. He could scarcely comprehend the strain of Chat Noir’s duties added to an already crushing schedule, layered over with the need to keep all his pain hidden. For the brand.

“Does anything make it better?” 

“I hope I do.” She caught her lip between her teeth briefly before hurrying on. “He shows me the weariness he won’t show anyone else I think. Not even Marinette. She gets his sunniest smiles, though. I would be more jealous if he didn’t smile those smiles at me too when we are with her.” Kagami’s face bore its own sad smile at this thought.

“Is that why you thought she was your rival.” 

“Yes, though a poor one. She was always trying to give us space as much as I could see she wanted to be alone with him. She never tried to pull him away from me. In any case, no matter how soft his gaze toward her there was no fire in it. She wasn't his target. It wasn't till I saw that Ladybug shrine of his, that I realized that's where the distant part of Adrien’s heart dwelled.” Kagami slumped. “How could he be so stuck on that one target when I doubt they have spoken more than a handful of times? What keeps reigniting that flame? Not me and her.”

Luka could guess. “I think I might know. But if I’m right, it's a secret that must be kept with all you have. I’m not sure I should say even that much.”

“I do not understand. Why can't you speak this ‘secret?’ Am I unworthy of your confidence?” Kagami’s words dripped with bitterness.

“I can think of no one more worthy than you.” He hoped she could hear that he meant every word. “But It’s not my secret.”

Luka’s voice was soft but urgent as he tried to pass the knowledge from his mind to hers with pure will. “If I share this secret it will change your whole life. It may put you in danger. It _will_ put them and all of Paris in danger. 

“Do you think I am not strong enough for this secret?” Kagami’s eyes flashed at the affront.

“It’s not about strength, it's about desire,” he countered.

“So,” he took a deep breath before plunging into the next question. “Do you love Adrien? Or do you just want him?” Luka felt awkward being this pushy but he needed to know. Did he have an ally or was he going to need to do this by himself? 

Kagami’s face scrunched as she contemplated this distinction. Luka thought it looked absolutely adorable, and that now was, without a doubt, _not_ the best time to tell her so.

“Are you willing to give him up if it would make him happier? Healthier? Safer?” He asked the questions quickly, so she would not have time to respond. Not until he had got them all out.

“Are you willing to lose everything else you have just to be with him?”

Luka paused at her shocked expression and asked his last question as softly as he could and still could be heard. “Are you willing to share his heart with someone else?”

“Why do you ask these questions?” 

“Because _I_ love them. Adrien and Marinette both. I think you do too. But unless you know them well enough to see it yourself. Care enough to see it yourself, I'm afraid you won't care enough to commit the way they need you to commit. To sacrifice what will need to be sacrificed.” _now comes the hard question,_ Luka thought, steeling himself.

“So,” he took a deep breath. “Tell me what you want. What you really... really, want.” 

Kagami turned away and stood restlessly, arms folded and shoulders hunched.

“I wish I knew.” She sighed softly, trying to keep her voice from carrying through the marble hall.

“For most of my life I've been fighting to stand on the winners platform at the Olympics, to add my Gold to my mothers and grandfather’s. But I've realized that I'm doing it more for them than for me. Not that I don’t still want that Gold. But I’m not sure that's _all_ I want anymore.”

“Do you want to be Adrien’s girlfriend?” he asked as he stepped up behind her, resting his hands lightly on her shoulders.

“I thought I did.” 

“Do you want to be his wife?”

Kagami’s eyes widened as she half turned to look at him, “I think we may be a little early for that.” His lips quirked in wry acknowledgement.

“Does your mother want you to be his wife? Or maybe better, for him to be _your_ husband.“ 

Kagami’s brow furrowed. “I don’t know.” she turned back away, to stare past the walls. “I know she wanted our companies to have a good relationship, and that she thought our relationship might ‘incline Gabriel to be generous.’” She snorted at this. 

“Does she want you to be happy?“ His question was softer now.

Kagami nodded firmly. “Yes, that at least I know for certain. Though I don't think she's very sure how to make me so." She turned to face him squarely and stared intently. “That's why I’m here with you.”

Luka found it was his own turn to blush. If there was one thing he had noticed about Kagami it was her ability to give something her complete and total attention. To be the focus of that attention was both exhilarating and intimidating. He could see why Adrien would have felt something, even through the haze of his infatuation with Ladybug. 

“Did you know, Kagami, that you are an incredible woman?” He raised a hand, resting only the barest tips of his fingers to her cheek. _And if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?_ He thought, not sure if he was relieved or disappointed that the English joke did not carry over into French.

Kagami stepped away, blushing. “So what do _you_ want? Tell me, what's on _your_ mind.” She asked sharply, turning his own question back against him.

Fortunately he had already spent a long time formulating this answer. Luka reached out and gently took Kagami’s hand as he began to answer. Turning her to face him. “I want Marinette to be happy. I want Adrien to be safe. I want to know what it feels like to really kiss you.” Kagami gasped, eyes going wide. He stated into them intently as he dove into the next verse before she could find her own words. 

“I want to build a life that will let me care for the people I love.”

“I thought you were in love with Marinette.” she said breathlessly. 

“I am. But that doesn't mean she will, or has, to love me back. And it doesn't stop me from falling in love with you too.” 

Kagami snorted and looked to the side but didn’t step back, or retrieve her hand. “Haven't you heard. He who runs after two hares catches neither.” 

“I suppose it all depends on who is chasing whom.” He said, wryly. “But I am well caught by the two most wonderful girls in Paris. But one of them seems to be chasing the sun and the other doesn't want to be caught at all right now, not by anybody.”

“Aren't you afraid of a broken heart?” she asked.

“A heart offered as a gift, without expectation, is hard to break. And love is not like water in a teapot, that once poured out is lost forever. Love grows as you give it freely, and a heart can stretch to hold whatever we place in it.” Luka smiled. The Greeks with whom Sass had spent so much time had six different words for the forms of love, and while the prick of Eros’ arrows may have been new to him, the other forms he was much more practiced at. “How I decide to show that love is my choice, and romance is only one way it manifests. What I feel and what I do with what I feel are separate things. We are human, not animals, after all. We are what we choose to do.”

“And you choose?”

“To come to you for help. What I want to do, I can’t do alone. I feel you are the best person to help me.” 

“But to help I need to know this _secret._ ” Luka could hear the quotes she put around the word. “Which you won't tell me _because_ I have to figure it out.” 

“Yes.” He tried to push all his sadness and frustration at the ridiculousness of this situation into that one word. “I _can_ tell you that you're right that Adrien wears a mask. So does Marinette, just like we have.” He brushed a hand quickly passed his eyes where the mask that marked him as a hero rested. “That I know what Adrien feels for Ladybug is not a crush. Not a shallow thing born of chance encounters and media coverage. I think he knows her as well as anyone can.” Luka suppressed a chuckle at the understatement. “There is a good reason he can’t make himself let her go, no matter how much he wants to try and make things work with you.“

“Like Marinetete can't let go of him for you.” Kagami’s words were an attack, he could see her pain in the tightness of her shoulders, the narrowing of her eyes. She was hurting, and flight would never be her choice. “Just like,” Luka smiled sadly. “The reason Adrien hasn't given his whole heart to you is the same reason Marinette won’t give hers to me or to Adrien, or you.“ He watched carefully for Kagami’s reaction to that last option and was rewarded with the slightest and most fleeting flush. Gone in a blink, but there. 

“Why won’t you just say what you mean?” she growled to herself. “I am beginning to grow tired of saying I don't understand.” Kagami’s eyes narrowed in concentration as she chewed on the puzzle he had set her, then suddenly widened as one thought led to another.

Kagimi looked around then said quietly, “I think, I am going to need to sit down.”

Luka offered a steadying arm as they returned to the outside benches and did what she had said. 

Kagami stared thoughtfully at her clasped hands as they rested in her lap. “I don't know how to take this. Why do you think I can help? What help do you think you need? If the only one for him is her and her is him, why not just shove them at each other so they can be happy together?” Her teeth clacked together loudly like she was biting off the stream of questions before it could continue.

“You’ve seen a little behind his mask, at how he lives on scraps of affection at home. Ladybug is already running to the end of her rope and depends on him being there to catch her. But something happened that showed her a future that makes her afraid to open her heart to her partner completely.” This understatement was more painful than amusing. “Remember what I told you last night, they don’t know and they have deliberately made sure they don’t know, for safety.”

As Kagami’s expression flashed from frustration through puzzlement to realization, Luka thanked all the gods there were that she did not have the slightest poker face for him to try and read past. “And Adrien may try and look like an angel in white, but he's trying to fly on broken wings. How long will he be able to keep lifting Ladybug without having someone who knows to lift him? He hides his pain as Chat almost as well as he does as Adrien. One of these nights he's going to fall, and I'm afraid he will take her with him. Unless _we_ can take and mend his broken wings.”

Kagami sat for a silent moment then snugged herself up tight against his side. Hesitantly he laid a comforting arm around her shoulders squeezing her close only after he was sure she would not pull away. He felt her shiver slightly as he gently kissed the crown of her head, then nestled her under his chin as he slowly rubbed her arm. 

“I can see now what you were so nervous about.” She breathed. He doubted any less well trained ears than he could hear the quaver in her voice.

“Hawk Moth has made me his weapon three times already. Knowing this I can strike directly at their hearts if he does it again. To give up time or their presence is one thing. To give up anger, fear, disappointment? That is a monk’s vow.” For a moment Kagami seemed to run out of words at the enormity of such a task. 

The silence was finally broken with a plaintive, “Why are you coming with this to me? Alya and Nino are just as close and have known them longer. Have been heroes _much_ longer. They aren't any less compromised than I am.”

Luka smiled wryly into her hair. “They care for him, very much, but you can already hear the song they've woven together. It's a good song and it can reach out to harmonize with Adrien and Marinette’s, but It's not the only song they need. And I don't think it has any room in it for me. Or you.” He leaned back to look directly in her eyes. “And we _need_ you. _I_ need you. Chat may wield the power of destruction but he is not by nature violent. Even though Kitten has claws, of the four of us, _you_ are the warrior.” He took another deep breath. “I need someone to watch my back.”

They sat in silence for another while, just being, together. Then Luka had an idea.

“Do you need to wait here for your car or will it come get you wherever?” he asked.

“It will find me at the appointed time.” Kagami’s voice still sounded shaky, but this at least she seemed certain of. “Good,” said Luka. “I think we could use a walk.”

With that he stood and extended a hand to raise his date up from the bench. Wrapping a supportive arm across her back, hand resting lightly on the swell of her hip, he accompanied her and her contemplative silence down the Rue Soufflot to Le Jardin de Luxembourg. They ambled down the path around the periphery then slowed and stopped at the statue of Le Marchand de Masques.

“So many masks they have to wear,” said Kagami, riffing on the famous depiction of a young boy selling the visages of famous French thinkers and artists. “I thought I loved Adrien, but that was the only face I knew. Chat Noir? I don’t know how to love him.”

She paused then stepped out from under Luka’s arm to turn and face him, piercing him with her gaze.

"You wear one too." His breath caught as she lifted her a hand to brush his bangs to the side. 

"What do you mean?" he asked carefully. 

"I thought you were a simple musician. There is nothing simple about you." He watched as her eyes flicked back and forth searching his face. 

“I do not know if you are brave or foolish, to suggest what I think you are suggesting. And I do not know if I am brave enough to follow you.” Kagami turned away to stare across the park, shoulders hunching as she hugged herself tight. Then she straightened and looked back over her shoulder at him. “At the least, shall we have an ice cream?” 

Luka looked up to see André dispensing sweet magic over by the Statuary Garden. “I remember the first time I had ice cream from that man.” Kagami mused as they walked toward the brightly painted cart. 

“We had just made a daring escape from your ridiculous Mayor’s absurd ceremony; Adrien, Marinette and I. We ran into him on the _Pont des Arts_ , before Miracle Queen stole our wills. Marinette decided to not get an ice cream together with us. I thought she had chosen you and all I had to do was get Adrien to just stop wavering and commit.” 

“Back up a second. You said _'An_ ice cream?’ Explain?” Something told Luka that this was important. 

She turned to look at him quizzically, then shrugged. “André suggested three different flavor combinations. Orange and mint, blackberry and orange, blackberry and mint. Adrien asked Marinette to decide and when Marinette asked if he could make one cone with all three, he said it would be difficult to balance the flavors, so she picked orange and mint for us and left. Though I don't see why it would have been so hard to add another scoop, I’ve seen him do cones with three flavors since.” 

Luka had also seen people get three scoops from Andre's. Usually he did it for a lone person seeking an unknown love or a well established couple. His combinations always meant something. Luka was sure that the Glacier had some sort of magic. The not quite audible whispers and not quite thereness of André’s cart had always put him off ordering by himself and he wished now he had. So he would know if his cone had changed in the last 24 hours. The one Marinette had got the day she'd first asked to hear him play her song was now obviously herself as Ladybug. 

André had been selling his Sweet Hearts Ice Cream for the better part of three decades and Luka was sure he had seen everything, probably several times. Luka would bet that he had seen a few stable triads, maybe even working quad. He had probably seen more that didn’t last. And that was what André was about, love that lasted years and decades. 

He took hope that Marinette had at least considered ice cream for three. It would be good to see what he came up with for them, if the mystic glacier saw any possibility in their relationship.

“Yes let's go get an ice cream. I would love to see what he suggests.”

The ambled casually up to the cart and waited for an older couple, and a couple and their three children got their cones. Then it was their turn and Luka could swear he heard the universe hold its breath.

“How nice, how nice, a new young couple seeking ice cream advice.” Luka swallowed at the sharp twinkle in the glacier’s eye. 

“Do you want to share or each get our own?” Kagami asked innocently. Luka thought furiously “Can we have a cone each?” He looked the man firmly in the eye. “Something special for each of us and... absent friends?” André nodded, slowly cocked his head and squinted thoughtfully at the two of them for a moment, then smiled. “A creamy orange, a sprig of mint, strawberry with chocolate drops to catch the hint.” Luka received his ice cream solemnly. “And for the young lady, peppermint and blackberry and a blueberry on top, wonderful flavors for a love that won't stop.”

Luka felt himself and the universe start breathing again. If he read the signs right there was hope. A small hope, if his mother's experience was anything to go by. Luka had witnessed his mother as well as other musicians and artists that he knew in relationships of more than two people. Ankara’s didn't usually last long. The couple of poly relationships that he had seen last required lots of communication and plenty of compromise. His mother was not shy about expressing herself. It was listening and compromise that she generally failed at. Sometimes rather spectacularly. 

Kagami was content to sit on the steps in silence as they ate their ice cream, occasionally sharing spoonfuls, mulling over the recent revelations. She finished her cone then turned to him with a serious expression. “Why do you think you need to do, whatever it is that you are planning to do?”

“How many superheroes can you think of that have families, children specifically?” he countered.

Luka decided that he could stare at the cute little furrow that blossomed between her brows forever. “Besides Majestia and her artificial daughter, and maybe KnightOwl and Sparrow? I'm sure most who do keep it a tight secret. But I don't think that's what you mean.” 

“Marinette does not love being a hero. Certainly not like Chat does.” Luka could see it in the way they stood. Ladybug wore her suit like a duty, Chat like it was a present. “She would never give up the burden not as long as she is needed. But more than anything she wants home and family. Children. More even than success in fashion. If all she ever did was dress the people she loves I think she would be content.” He turned away to stare across the park at the vision of Marinette dancing through a cloud of children. Emma, Hugo, Luis. “If she never has a family I think it might kill her soul eventually. I need to make sure she has that chance.” His voice caught for a beat. “Even if it isn't’ with me.” 

“And you want me to be what? Your second chance?”‘

He shook his head. “You could never be second to any one. I want you to be my partner in caring for them. I don't know what else we will become to each other, but I know I don't want to do this on my own.”

“You want me to be there to guard your back, you said?” She asked the question lightly.

“And kick my ass.” She snorted at this pronouncement. “I’m serious! Marinette and Adrien, they won’t do it. And living with my mother has taught me everyone needs at least one person in their life who will call them on their bull shit.”

“Is that all you want?” She leaned away from him with a raised eyebrow and just the hint of a smile. “A swift kick in the pants.”

“Well, I suppose I could be open to other things too,” He felt an answering smile spread across his face.

“Do I need to ask if it's your mother who taught you to be such a smooth operator?” Her mona lisa smile mocked him. “So you _would_ like me to kiss you? Right now?” Kagami's tone was light, teasing. He answered with all weight he could muster.

“I should like that very, very much.” He brought his face close to hers, noses almost touching. 

"What about Marinette?" She insisted, only a slight widening of her eyes indicating that she might be startled by his proximity. 

"I don’t know 100% for certain, but I think she would enjoy you kissing her too.” Luka smirked. “But I hope you save the first time for when Adrien is watching. He needs a little encouragement." 

He waited a beat as he watched Kagami’s composure crack, her complexion a crescendo from elegantly pale to fire engine red. "And it would be fun to watch his head explode."

Luka felt her tiny strong hands fisting in his shirt as she buried her face in his chest. As he wrapped his arms around her Luka realized he was already addicted to the feel of Kagami's lithe and powerful body nestled in his arms. He hoped his levity had not killed his chances for good. Holding her would be a hard habit to break.

He could feel her taking slow, deep, calming (he hoped) breaths as he kept talking.

“I actually haven’t kissed Marinette yet. Not seriously.”

“If this is your normal approach I'm not surprised,” came the muffled retort. Kagami carefully tipped her head back so she could glower at him directly. “You are the most _infuriating_ man.” She judged him then thrust her face upward to land a swift peck on his lips. “And you seem in an awful hurry.”

“I’m sorry if I seem to have gone crazy on you, but heroes have no time to be young.” He could already feel the time slipping through his fingers.

He resisted the impulse to hold on as she stepped away from him and extracted her phone from a hip pocket. 

“I shall have to think about this.” Her voice gave no hint as to what decision she might come to. “Tatsuo says he will pick me up by the esplanade.” 

As he stepped forward she wrapped herself around his arm then led him down the path to the gate in silence. They arrived at the curb just as the red self-driving car was pulling up. Kagmi left another quick kiss on his cheek then slid in to the back seat, door closing behind her before he could say a word.

He stood, fingertips holding the memory of her lips, watching until he could no longer see the car. 

After arriving home, he retreated to the fore deck and played, notes falling from his guitar in a continuous stream of nervous energy until dinner. He bolted down Rose’s cooking without tasting it then retreated back to his sanctuary at the bow.

“Sass,” he nearly whined. “What if she decides she can’t go for it”

“Patience young one; faith first, then the miracle.”

Luka steeled himself to ask the question that had haunted him since his revelation. “If I chose this, I don't get to unchoose it do I, not till they lay their burden down?” _Till death do us part, right. Those are the words after all._

“Of course you can,” the serpent replied jovially. “Short of death you can always walk away from anything,” Sass paused. Luka hated those pauses. “You just have to live with the man in the mirror, afterwards.“ Sass words were NOT reassuring, but they provided the clarity Luka needed. He loved Marinette. He loved Adrien. He felt he was coming to love Kagami. But most importantly he loved _Ladybug_.

Even if he had not known who he was falling for, that is who she was and always would be, Miraculous or not. And Ladybug didn’t need a _boyfriend_ . She needed a husband. Someone willing to hold her and her dear heart safe, care for them and keep them in sickness and injury and dearth and death, knowing that the days of health and wealth and peace might never come. And _if_ they did it would be because he, Luka, had ripped them from the world's grasp with his bare hands.

They would be too busy making sure there was a world. 

Ladybug had murmured her fears to him on more than one occasion and, based on the story of the time traveling graffiti artist that apparently served a _different_ Hawk Moth, the world would be needing his Melody and her Chat for at least a dozen more years, with no end in sight _._

So he had better decide _now_ that he was willing to go the distance, or he should just not start.

Luka took a hard look at the future he was thinking of signing up for. One where hope of happiness was slim and pain inevitable, and decided he wanted to work for the hope rather than run from the fear. Even if he was going it alone, Kagami’s yes or no would not change the ways he knew he was going to need to live and still be able to live with himself.

He took a deep breath, he figured that an oath sworn before the god of the future was probably at least as deeply binding as any paper signed before some petty clerk. 

“Then this is it Sass. I am theirs even if they never chose to be mine. All I am, I give freely, and I'll keep them, and hold them and succor them all the days of my life.”

The kwami’s words of witness fell with all the weight and finality of the granite gates of a pharaoh's tomb.

“So _mote_ it be. So _mote_ it be.”

The solemn silence was broken by the sudden burst of newly recorded chords from the opening to Patti Smith’s fierce anthem to hope.

Luka dove at his phone, almost fumbling it over the bulwark into the river in his haste. 

He took a calming breath before thumbing the answer icon and, with outward calm, raising the phone to his ear. “Kagami,” he breathed, hardly daring hope.

“My mother has always really wanted me to be a samurai, not just a fencer. A samurai must stare her own death in the face until she no longer fears it. I will not let myself be a prisoner to my fear. Not of losing Adrien, not of wanting Marinette. We may never catch up to them. But I want to try for something more.” 

Sass was right. When what you need is a miracle, first you gotta have faith. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part of this story, tentatively titled _Chassing Adrien_ , will have to wait on finishing some other projects and a refil on the well of inspiration.
> 
> I anticipate more fluff, less philosophizing.
> 
> Even more so that usual my most humble gratitude to my betas [Talik_Sanis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talik_Sanis) and [MariaCerelin101](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaCerelin101) and all the rest of the _Fabulous_ people at the [ Miraculous Fanworks Discord](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks), who have encouraged me and kept me going. 
> 
> If you write or draw for this fandom, or just want to, come play with us.


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